Thursday, February 26, 2009


fans i made a poll that you can vote on what stories u want me to make up for my website. just pick your favorite kind of story and i will make some cool stories. whatever one has the most votes on that day is what i will write about. have fun being my fan but dont be a dickkk or talk to an adult unless they are asking you what u want for ur birthday.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009


today i had to take a big piss. and i had to take it real bad. so i was at school and i left the class to go take my piss. i walked in the bathroom and you know what i see! i see a total dickkkkkk taking a piss! but he was taking a piss with his pants down to the shoes!!!!!!! i saw his legs and i saw his butt cheeks on the bottom!!!!! it was a fuck dick named devin fuckin price!!!!!!!!!!!
i was about a second away from taking out a plasma rifle and firing a plasma charge into his dick hole!!! but hte dick saw i was there and pulled up his pants! i didnt even say a word but my brain was saying all kinds of awesome stuff! it was saying to make a fire on his head and to take a baseball bat and hit him in the head with it and then stick a hockey stick right up his assss! a goalie stick!!!!!!!! on the shooting end!!!!!
i went in the toilet to take my piss caus i was scared that devin was a total faget and would show his dick to me and try to trick me to touch it! i knew better.
i was taking a piss when i found something that was total bullshit!!!!!!! next to me someone was taking a humongus shit!!!!!!!! and it was a adult shit caus i heard a lot of water drops and they were loud like a lot of big turds like a adult would shit out! a big adult!!!!!! and there was alot of sounds and gronts so loud. i hurried and pissed but then i almost got out when the adult was done taking a shit! the door opened and i was soo scared it smlled like someone light a outhouse on fire that was so full of dead kids that smelled like jessie heaton. LOL. the adult was MR. HARVERD AND EVERYONE KNOWS THAT HE LOOKS LIKE A ELEPHANT WHO COULD TAKE A HUMUNGUS SHIT. his face was all red and proly caus he knew i heard his grunts and i heard the water sounds of how big his shit was!!!!!!!! i just was trying to be nice and told him i wouldnt tell anyone that i heard him. he was laughing and i dont even know why. what a total weirdo! sometimes if someone gets hit by a car it is funny.

Saturday, February 14, 2009


once upon a time there was a totally cool kid named corey. he had cool clothes, 2 wiis , his own tiger and tons of great babes. one day after he killed a loin with his dick he went to dairy queen to get a coke. when he got there he made a adult buy him a coke and the dumb adult did it! corey sat on a bench with 5 vbabes and drinked a coke. he drank it so fast that he acidentaly swolled the ice!!! he didnt realy care though cuz he had 2 wiis and some babes. when he got to his parents house he made his dad and mom go to sleep in the living room so that he could make some sex with 2 of these baebes in there bed room. corey got in and put his dick on the girl. all of the sudden she turned into a ice sickle!!!!!!! he froze the babe! the other babe grabbed his dick and her whole arm was frozed!!!!!!!!!! dickkkkkkkkkk! then he smacked her arm and it exploded and she died. coreys dick was hurting so bad cuz it was a freeze dick. he could make any babes or lakes or oceans or adults turn into ice!!!!!!!
that night he went around and touched everyone with his dick! first people were touching it but then they got scared so he tricked them by putting a real cool glow stick on the end of it so more people wanted to touch. after a while he drank tons of beers and like 3 or 4. then he had to take a piss. so he forgot about his dick and went to grab it. all of the sudden his hands froze!!!!!!!!then he tried to pee with no hands but his piss turned into ice and went straight into his eye ball!!!!!!!!!!!! his dick piss was frozen to his eye ball!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! after that he had to wait until summer came so he could melt away his dick piss. but then his dick broke off and his hands. everyone made fun of him and he only had 1 babe. but that babe was blind and she couldnt feel dicks or hands caus she was dead.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009


all of quincys friends knew that he liked to fuck human women but humans didnt know caus quincy hated humans. quincy hated humans caus he worked at sears. and humans would always come to him to buy there shit. but quincy was smart. he would always take a piss in there bags. and then when the human got home the piss would do either 2 things. if it was a man human then the piss would stay as piss and make his clothes and shit smell like shitt and piss. if it was a human woman then the piss would turn into an elf and then it would send an email to quincy to tell him there was a human woman to fuck. quincy got the email on his cell and he would get in his hellicopter and fly to the fuckzone. usually he would fly into the house and chop off the roof so he could have more fuckzone!!!!!
when he got to the house he would be nice to hthe human woman and usully he would bake a cake or sometimes he would put some oil in there car. after that he would clear the house of human men and also pets. the only kind of pet that quincy liked was a 8 year old kid named saul that he kept in a hot tub by his bed. when the house was clear quincy would take off his jeans and then make sure that the babe saw his dick. his dick was a wierd dick and only one person ever saw it and lived to talk about it. but i never even met that person so i dont know what it would be like. but this human woman saw his dick and it was made out of complete metal and paintted red with a flame. after quincy had some sex with the woman then he usully would just cook some pork chopps for him to eat. after he made some sex he always loved those.
sears was not the only place were quincy worked. he also worked a secrey agent for the spys! he woudl go around and try to find magic crystals. these crystals would give him the power he needs to fuck a human woman but he would never tell the spys about it. he kept all his crystals in a secret jar that was made out of metal so that no one could get it. one day a dumb adult did get it and they opened the jar! but the adult was dumb and a adult so they didnt know that a warrior kid was on watch. SHOOOOOOOOSH!!!!!! A 40 FOOT SWORD WENT RIGHT INTO HIS EAR! the warrior kid took him to the hospitol but he died from cancer in a day.
one time when quincy was 4 years old he wrote a whole movie and named it FUCK YOU! he bought a model airplane and put his cat named tom in the seat and flew it into the sun. these are some of the things quincy always does but there is one thing he only did one time!
one day quincy had a birthday and he was 11 years old. he invited everyone in the world and even a fat girl named melissa jentie! LOL! everyone ws claspping and dancing around and some of hte people were even having some sex. his best friend chester came to the party and he did a magic trick. he clapped his hands and a horse dragged in a plastic bag with a dead human woman in it. then chester tyed the woman to a pole and pulled off her underwear. quincy was laughing and he even took off his sunglasses to see the action. chester came over to quincy and gave him a hug and then sprinked some maghical ferry dust on quincys glasses. and then quincy put them back on. WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!! ALL OF HTE SUDDEN QUINCY GOT A BONER THAT WAS 90000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 FEET LONG AND IT SLAMMEED RIGHT INTO THE VAGINA OF THE HUMAN WOMAN AND SHE WOKE UP!!!!!! THEN BABYS JUST STARTED COMING OUT OF HER VAGINA AND DANCING AND SINGING A COOL SONG! QUINCY MADE HER HAVE BABYS AND IT TOOK 1 SECOND. AFTER 3 YEARS SHE WAS DONE HAVING THE BABYS AND SHE HAD MADE 10000000 KIDS. all of the kids were dead in 2 days. accept for 1 kid. and he was named martin brodeur. he grew up in an igloo and then one day he learned how to be a devils goalie. 20 years later he was the best person in the univerrse!

Friday, February 6, 2009




it is a friday and i should be so happy but i feel like i am a total dickkkkkkk with his dick on fire! a fire dick!!!! it is caus it is tracy schleirns birthday today and she is turning 400 years old!!!! she looks like a old bitch and she acts like a total bitch. caus she is in bitchzone 24/7!!!!! my dad peter said right when i get home that we are going to the melting pot restarant and i totally hate the place! it is packed with tons of adults and they sit and eat gay cheese like a total fagot!!!!!!! derrick is not even coming caus he is so far from a adult and i wish that my dad knew that i am a kid and will never be a adult. caus i dont wanna go either. kev i will call when it is done. the food is not even food! they have no chicken fingers! no burger! no fries!!!!! it is dick ass bitch shit cheese! and dumb fondew!!!! here is a exact story of what will happen!

DAD: ok kids it is moms birthday and she can get what she wants.
BITCH HEATHER: she isnt our real mom
ME :) : u are right but u are a slut dick toucher!

that is when i will say "night cover" and i will cloak myself.
DAD: where is jeffrey!?
my dad does not know but i just took a jar of acid and poured it into his fondue. then i blew a whistle that only dogs can hear. and some lambs. my dad takes a big bite of a fondue and he bursts on fire!!!!! and heather is screaming. tracey schleirn is just eating like a little piglet. and she uses the fire to cook a cheese piece! WHAT A BITCH!!!!! that is when the dogs get there and so do some lambs. the dogs start to bite all the adults and tracey's head is bitten off by a dog with a human head that is from a black person! heather is escaping cuz she is kind of like a kid and the dogs dont pick up her smell. then all the sudden 50 lambs bite off her mouth and chew on her face!!!!!
after it is done then i blow the whistle again and the lead lamb with a saddle comes to me and i ride on him to wendys and everyhone aat the place is my friend and they all like me. u proly think that a lamb has a worse smell than a dog so they couldnt know they heather was a kid. but u are wrong and a dickkkkkkk! caus these lambs were robot lambs and could smell and frozen peice of shit from 9 gazillion miles!! and were made to kill kids that are almost adults caus they touch dicks.
then the cops get to the melting pot and they dont see anyone there.
WHERE ARE ALL THE ADULTS??? says a dumb cop named roger.
MAYBE THEY WENT TO WATCH A RATED R MOVIE says a dumb cop who is named don.
all of the sudden a million rabbits fly into the restarant and keep punching the cops right in the dickkkk.
there dicks get soo sore and then they get huge and explode!!!!!!! DICK JUICE IS EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!!!!! then it is quite and no sound. no more cops and no more adults. all the kids can be safe and come out. i am smiling like the sun and kmac hooks up a wii for some sad kids to play. the next day i get picked to be president of the world. i make a rocket and put all the adults in it and luanch it at the moon!!! it explodes and all the adults die. then i make the river made of chocolate and i also make a slide that goes from new york to the moon so a kid can have fun and look at some dead adults. all the kids like me and even some babes have a sex with me some times. :) THE END

Thursday, February 5, 2009

magic franky

one day on a full moon a magic narcat named franky was born in a manger. franky was a super animal caus he was the best combination. he was a narcat. that means he is my favorite animal and kmacs favorit one. his mom was a narwhal and his dad was a full grown bobcat. his mom was named mary and his dad was named walter. when he was a little narcat walter taught him to groom his fur and run very fast and also how to murder sharks or other evil predetors so he could eat them. his mom taught him how to cook the dead stuff and how to clean up when he got done murdering and eating them.
one day franky took his mom to the vagina doctor cause her vagina hole was hurting. it was from a accident with a fire hose. the doctor was a man and his parents named him doctor vagina. doctor vagina looked at her vagina and was totally scared!!! she had a disease and she was going to die in 3 minutes. franky was crying but his mom said it was OK and dont cry. then 3 minutes was up but she didnt die!! franky was happy but doctor still said she was going to die so soon. franky was angry and murdered the doctor and his hole family but teh cops couldnt find out it was him caus he wore batting gloves to kill the family.
his mom was driving him home and all of the sudden her vagina caught on fire and she burned to her death. and then the car flew off the road and ran over a bobcat. franky was crying and thought the bobcat was his dad named walter. it was a bobcat and his dad named walter. his head was cut off and he could barely talk.
franky was crying but his dad said to be happy and he said he loved him. and right before he exploded he told franky how to get a boner. the next day every girl in the whole town had a birth of a baby and all them were named harrison. every baby was a boy and named harrison. franky was smiling the whole time.



Anonymous said...

Jesus, you are a little moron, aren't you?


Patch Adams said...

handicapped people FUCKIN SUCKKK. apparently so does 'anonymous' what a little jizz stain


Wednesday, February 4, 2009


kmac u never should have won today you dorkzoid!!!!!!!!!! jason ferris is such a dick fucker and he is why we lost to you!!! this kid is soooooooo bad at basketball!!!! mrs. chervnek gets mad if you dont pass it to all the kids and even if a kid is a slow dick fuck! most kids can catch a ball and make some shots but jason ferris is such a fuck!!!! ALL HE DOES IS SIT AROUND LIKE A FUCK!! he cant even reach the hoop on a shot AND HE CANT EVEN CATCH A PASS MOST OF THE TIME CAUS IT HITS THE METAL ON HIS WHEELCHAIR!!!!! MOST KIDS COULD USE SOME CROTTCHES OR SOMETHING TO MOVE AROUND BUT HE CANT CAUS HE HAS A DISESASE OR SOMETHING. HE WILL NEVER BE GOOD AT BASKETBALL CAUS HE'LL PROBLY ALWAYS BE SICK AND NOT EVEN BE ALIVE FOR ENOUGH TIME TO LEARN TO BE OK AT IT.
i think a presedent should make a rule that kids need to be able to shoot and catch a basketball or else they dont have to be passed to. and he should also have to wear his gym shorts and shirt!!!!! if i forget my stuff then i loss points caus chervnek is a DICK TOUCHER!!!!!!! jason dick wheel chair fuck gets to wear his jeans and dumb button shirt every time!!!!! WHAT A DICK!!!!!!!! IT ISNT FAIR THAT HE HAS A WHEELCHAIR AND CAN GET OUT OF GYM CLOTHES AND ALSO NOT HAVE TO RUN THE MILE!!!!!