Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Jason is here!!



Anonymous
said...

Jeff write another story about Jason, the kid born with a full beard.

March 7, 2009 3:55 PM


Chip Coffey said...

Jeffrey,

I was looking at your awesome site. You have amazing talents!

A while back you mentioned a puppet named Jason. I would love to learn more about this Jason.

-Chip
-paranormal investigator.

March 6, 2009 11:19 AM


these are some fan mails i got and most of my fans like jason and want to hear about him. so i found another jason story and here it is. thanks fans!

jason was the only kid ever to be 2 and have a full beard. he looked like a bald man when he was 2 but he had a full beard. and he drank his moms tits for breakfast and lunch and dinner. he was a cool 2 year old kid and sometimes he even just take a shit on the ground in his house even though he knew how to take a adult shit in a toilet. jason had a nice life but then he turned 15!

when jason was 15 his beard was 4 foot long and his dick was 2. babes loved it but all the boys hated it. jasons best friend was named victor. it is actualy funny that jason even talked to victor cause he had NO beard and a zero foot dickkkkkkkkk! but they still were buds and jason would let victor watch him play wii. one day victor had a great idea that would change his life.

they needed some money but they didnt want to work to much so they thought of a awesome idea! jason decided that they would bury adults pets for money. and they would also give a funeral for the pet. it was called dead pets. the next day they made some nice suits to wear and they also made some id cards out of plastic. then they stole a shovel from a old man and walked down the street.

they knocked on every door and no adults would pay them to bury there pets. victor was dumb and he just got sad and cried. jason was smart and he knew what to do. jason bought a gun and then at night him and victor broke into every adults house and beat there pets to death!!! victor cut a snake in half with a ninja sword, jason smashed hermit crabs with a slege hammer and victor totally burned down 3 fish tanks. that night they killed 40 cats! and 10 dogs!! the next day they made 4 million dollars!!!!!!!

two weeks later jason was swimming in a pool with 90 babes on a island. 10 babes were in charge of food and 30 babes were in charge of his beard and 59 babes were in charge of his dick and one babe was in charge of cleaning up all of his poop. she was a totally ugly babe and not even a babe. she was a girl. no one ever knew that jason killed all the cats and dogs. one day a cop named Danny came up to jason and pulled out a gun.

"i know you killed pets!" said danny

"fuck animals!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" screamed jason

all of the sudden a flock of swans flied out of jasons beard and right into dannys dick!!!!! he tried to shoot the swans but instead he shot his dick right off!!!!!!!

from that day on danny always peed right in his pants caus he had no dick. jason would always laugh about it and then just comb his beard some more. his beard is red and pretty long.

Saturday, March 7, 2009

DICKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKS


ME AND KMAC JUST DESTORYED SOME DICKS ON TEAM SLAYER ON H3!!!!!!! JUSTIN K IS OVER AND BROGUHT A 360 AND WE ARE REALLY TRYING TO KILL SOME PEOPLE ALL NIGHT! I WILL TRY TO KILL SOOO MANY PEEPS BUT I WILL ALSO TRY NOT TO GET KILLED. IF U EVER PLAYED THIS GAME U SHOULD KNOW THAT IT IS GOOD TO KILL AND BAD TO DIE.
I AM GONNA MAKE A BOOB POST SOON!!!!!!!! DICKSSKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Friday, March 6, 2009

great sex

fans, i made some quincy posts and real narwhal storys but now i am going to do a famous babe post. LOL

they are many babes that i like that are alive right now. A.T. / L.S. / S.M and i also like a wonderful babe. she has a real hot face and she also is famous and she even has some boobs. she is my ultimate babe and her name is ashley tisdale. if u dont know who she is then u are a DORKZOID who probaly loves to be gay 24/7. if u know who she is then i dont have to explain the sex that i want to make with her.
she was on the suite life of zack and cody and when i watch it i always wanted to change the name of the show to I HAVE A WOODY! she is also in high school musical and she is even more hotter in that movie. she was born on july 2 1985 and she is older than me but on her site she said that she loves all of her fans. this is a real babe story about when i met her last year and she wanted to make some sex with me.
"HEY! hey cute kid come over to my nice car for a minute" said a babe
"who me?" said me
"yah i saw you playing kickball and i think u are a hot man."
"i am a kid" said me
"thats ok" said the babe
i walk over to the car and it is real nice but then i see the babes face! it is ashley tisdale!!!!!
all of the sudden my woody is totally moving and i start to put on my babe moves.
"what do u want" said me

"i need to know how to get to the wal-mart" ashley tisdale said
i hurry up and get in her car and scream for her to floor it! she is scared and doesnt know why but i push her foot down with my hand and make her fly. she is still scared and i tell her that some robot kids spotted me and we need to go to her house now! she understands and drives me.

"how old are u?"
"i am 12 (i was actually 11) but i could drive this car better than ur parents."
she seemed like she was thinking about if i like to have sex.
"yes" said me
"yes what?????" said ashley
"i like sex" said me
she was sooooo embarrassed.
"i know ur thoughts" said me cause i sometimes know what people are thinking even if they dont say it or write it down.
i told her to drive me to her house. when we got to her house i saw that it was a mansion. there were 50 stateus of awesome lions everywhere. i took a picture of one and it is my desktop background now. we went into her house and the first thing that i did was tell her parents to leave. they didnt try to argue with me caus i showed them my sword that i brought in my pack. ashely was real impressed and made me a ice cream cone and a slushie. she has a dairy queen in her house. after i ate my ice cream and slushie i told her we should have some sex now caus i had to be back home caus i had baseball practice.
she clapped her hands and all of the sudden the dairy queen turned into her bed! next she put on a swim suite and then she told me to take my pants off! i was getting real charged. i said that i love her and then i went to grab her boobs. but then it happened!

all of the sudden her pap pap ran into the room with a ninja sword on and full armor. i couldnt kill him with my sword caus i took my pants off. he tried to cut off my dickkk but i ran like a cat out hte winodw and into her pool. ashley tisdale's parents are total dickkkkks and they had tigers living in the pool. i was able to kill one to death with a noodle. but then one bit me.
then i woke up in the hospitol. i looked at my arm and it was totally gone!!!! then i passed out. the next thing that happened as i woke up on a ufo! a alein had gave me a robot arm that was made special for kids. so from that day on i had a robot arm. i still have it. and i can throw a basbeall threw a human and i can punch a kid 400 miles and i have a laser setting but i never used it.ashley tisdale is a babe but her parents are total dick fuck dorkzoids! but now i have a robot arm. i wish i had a robot dickkkkk.


Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Marcus


thanks for the votes fans!!! narwhal story! now!

once upon time there was a narwhal who lived in the ocean. he lived in the cold part near santa claus and he always swam around. when the narwhal was born he named himself Marcus. his dad named Tom hated the name marcus but his dad hated it more when marcus took a razor and cut off tom's dickk!!!!!!!! his dad didnt know it but marcus was a super narwhal.
a super narwhal is a narwhal who can do awesome shit. here is some shit marcus can do without even trying hard:
swim 200 mph
jump out of the water
hold his breath until he is dead
murder a whole family or school of fish
fuck any babe
these are good powers. and all of the scientists knew it too. one day a scientist named doctor pussy found out that marcus was awesome and he said he would catch marcus. the next day he caught marcus. then marcus was in a zoo. marcus hated the zoo caus he could only swim 10 feet and they never let him fuck any babes.
one day a cool kid who really apreciated narwhals was at the zoo with his dumb family. the kid was named jay and he was really amazingly cool. his dad was there and another lady who thought she was his mom. jay made a awesome plan with some big kids who were almost ninjas. these ninjas were really cool too and they were tall, and knew about kaarate and they smoked. the first thing jay did was pay another kid 20 bucks to run naked into a room to make adults chase him. when the kid did it jay and his ninjas sprang into action! the first ninja grabbed jay's dad by his dickkk and chucked him into a shark tank. jay paid the sharks 20 bucks to totlly eat his fucking head!!!!! the dad was gone. next was tracey and 2 ninjas paid a janitor 400 bucks to run over her with a lawnmower!!! LOL her fat arms got caught in the blade and she morphed her fat into a gremlin!!!!!! the gremlin ran up the janitor and sucked all the blood out of his dick and his body!!!!!!!!!!! next the gremlin ran up to a kid and was like 'hey kid u want some cool twix?'
the kid was just a kid and he wanted some twix so he said ya. then the gremlin totally took out a machine gun and murdered the kid. he never got twix. the kid was 8 and his name was washington.
then the gremlin ran towards jay. but jay was ready he smiled and took out a magic canon. he huried and fired a canonball right at the gremlin's vagina!!! the gremlin smiled back and caught the canonball and then whipped it right into jays dick. it hit him right in the dick part of his dick. and that was hurting so bad. the gremlin was laughing and took out a rope to hang jay. just when the gremlin was going to hang jay it happened!
TOOT TOOT TOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!
a brave kid named kmac played a note on a flute that marcus the narwhal heard. all of the sudden marcus jumped out his cage and cut jay down from the rope on his neck. the gremlin was ready and threw a grenade filled with piss at kmac. all of the piss got in his mouth and he chocked until he died from piss posoining. marcus took his tusk and slammed it into the gremlins eye. the gremlin was dead and so was jays step mom who is the gremlin.
jay was so happy and he hugged marcus and got on him to ride him back to the ocean. but marcus didnt even budge a foot!!!!! jay checked his pulse and he knew it was done! marcus was dead. he was dead caus narwhals cant breath. jay was so mad and he should have known it. he was sad and took kmacs flute and played a whale song. all of the sudden marcus came awake and was moving around and then he started dancing and singing!!!!! all of the sudden he got a humungus boner and then strated bouncing like a pogo stick around and he bounced all the way to the ocean with his boner stick!!!!!! jay went to and eventually he used some fins and lived in the water too. they were best friends and always had fun swimming and playing wii and going to the mall with babes. jay cleaned off the piss from the flute before he played that song too.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

QUINCY BIRTHDAY


FANS YOU VOTED FOR A POST ABOUT QUINCY SO I REMEMBERED ANOTHER QUINCY STORY.

one day quincy woke up in his room. he was totally naked except for some jean shorts he got for christmas. there were 4 human women around him and they were sleeping very quitely. quincy decided to play a trick on the babes. he found a big stick and put a hook on it. then he lifted each babe up by there underpants and hung them on the fan in his room! LOL when all the babes were on the fan he clapped his hands and it happened! nickelback was blasting in the fan turned on going 500 miles per hour!!!!!!!!!! the babes didnt even have a chance to scream stop. all of the sudden one babe flew off the fan and went right into a giant dagger that quincy taped to the wall for safety. two of the babes flew off and crushed there heads together. one of the heads rolled away and the other head stayed on the ground. the last babe tried to hang on but she flew off and got ripped in 40 pieces by the fan! the other head on the ground was still alive. but it was crying and couldnt move. that head was named susan. quincy was laughing and he whistled. all of sudden a robot roomba came into the room and vaporized the head with a laser beam! the rest of susan died the next day.
quincy was feeling so happy but then he got pissed!!!!! he forgot that today was his birthday and those babes were a birthday present for him fro mhis best friend named chester! he forgot his birthday and he forgot to fuck the human women. he tried to find some parts of the babes and maybe thought he could make one super babe. but he couldnt find any boobs he liked. this was one of his worst birthdays. he called up his neighbor named mr. dickkk cause he wanted to have some fun. mr. dickk said he was tired and couldnt go out for beers or to fuck some human women. mr. dickk is a half robot half dolphin. quincy was even more fuckkkked now! so he decided to make a master plan. he went out to the store and made a human buy him a gun. then quincy rang mr.dickkks door and shot him right in the head. then he got some ice cream cake and chester took away the babes and bought him an extra nunchuck for multiplayer games.