Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Young Jeffrey Paswick's life was cut short by an AARP sniper this summer while petitioning for children's rights in Washington, D.C. Though Jeffrey only lived 13 short years, he accomplished more than most adults. He hosted this web-site which drew visitors from over 10 continents. Through his tireless efforts to establish later bed-times, more recess and climate change to increase snow days, Jeffrey has ensured that kids everywhere no longer have to live by the rules of adults.
Shortly before Jeffrey's death he signed a 5 year agreement with President Barrack Obama to establish a small "kid community" in northeast Montana. This community would cater to kids and permit no one over 14 to enter the city limits. Jeffrey was to act as mayor of this glorious city, but obviously things have changed. Thankfully, I have agreed to continue the fight and take up Jeffrey's cause. May his spirit live on in the hearts and minds of all kids, and may every adult on earth be speared by a full-grown narwhal and driven to the depths of the sea to bitter cold grave.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
once upon of time there was a magical kid named ezkiel who was a complete wizard. he knwe all kinds of sorcerry and mahgic tricks. when he was 1 year old he made his mom disappear and when he was 2 he turned his dad into a wii. he always played wii but he was sad cuz he couldnt make enough money selling rubies and jewels to buy some new wii games. the only game he had was original medal of honor.
one day he decided to use his powers to get some more money. the first thing he did was murder a adult because he knew he could use its blood for some potion. so he put a dictionary on top of a bear trap and then snuck into a hiding place behind a tree to wait for a adult. the first adult who saw the dictionary stepped right into his trap and was cut right in half like a total dickkkkkkkkkkkk. ezkiel was laughing but then he picked up hte blood and went back to his room. the next thing he needed was a monkey's dick. so he went to the zoo and hired a zoo keeper to cut off the dick for $20. the next thing he needed was hte hardest. he need a whole milk jug full of diarrhea from a baby. ezkiel didnt know any babies and he knew he couldnt make one. he went to the hospital and tried to collect some diarrhea from the babies but they all had on diapers.
the next thing he did was take off the diapers and then he told the babys to take a dump. only one of the babies named david did. the other ones just cried or slept. this made ezkiel made so he hired an inventor named dr. fucktubs to make a diarrhea machine. the machine was done in 2 hgours and hten ezkiel hooked it up to the asses of hte babies. everything was going totally good until all of hte sudden a bolt shot off the machine and killed a nurse. then the machine went bonkers!!!!!! bolts were flying and mini lightning and sparks and all kinds of scary shit. then suddenly the machine started to get real big and a smart adult yelled "go run you kids and nurses and get the babies and doctors run to! run you dicks!!!"
everyone ran but one adult and a kid were deaf so they never heard. all of the sudden the diarrhea machine exploded and every adult in the hospital died of diarrhea posioning. everyone was sad, except for the kids. a real nice kid had stole a bunch of cookie ice cream sandwiches from the hospital and gave them to the kids.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
a lot of u dickkks proly thought that a predator got me or maybe even some smarty pants adult came and grounded me again. but guess what dickkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkks and fans i was just having sex with a ton of babes. and even kmac got to have sex with some of them when i was sleeping or eating some pretzels and stuff.
i have been gone long from my website but its caus of the sex and its caus i was at the game last night and we won it! i know that everyone saw marty and he was awesome and that is why we will win the stanly cup!! everyone that plays hockey not for the devils is either a dickkkkkkkkkkkkkk or a wooooooooooooody! u can decide it!!
i decided to come back and make a cool post about what everyone likes and that is a iguana named quincy fuck.
one of the best times in the history of times is when quincy had his own tv channel and it was called FUCKKKKKKK TV. it was channel 402 and it always had a cool quincy logo on the bottom of the show. the channel was made by quincy and it had some cool shows of quincys and then also some news and some shows of king of queens. but the best show was extreme home makeoever and quincy was the host.
it was just like that show on abc but this show had quincy as the host. one episode was really nice. there was a poor family that looked like michael jordan who had just had their dad get exploded by a helicopter bomb. so it was just the mom and 2 kids who were boys. the mom was named TITS and the kids were called TOM and HORACE!
the first thing that quincy did was set their house on fire while they were still inside it!! then the cameras filmed the family running out the house fast. everyone was safe outside but then they forgot about the cat named STEVE! HE WAS DEAD AS A DICKKKKKKKKKKKKK! TOTAL BURNED! and quincy put the microphone by the window and you could hear the cat screaming PENISSSSSSSSSSSSSSS really loudly.
the next thing quincy did was set up a tent for them to live in while they made them a new house. it was a really great tent and had tons of space to lay down and even eat some chips. each kid got a bag of tostios to eat.
the next thing quincy did was buy a shotgun at a gun store. then he went around the neighborhgood and forced adults to join his construction team. then he made all the adults use their credit cards to buy cool shit for quincy and some wood boards to build a house.
they even bought him a gaming chair with a built in speaker.
after 6 months the adults had built a pretty cool house that had 5 rooms in it and a roof. quincy was sitting in his gaming chair the wholle time.
then came the day! and a huggggggggge bus was in front of the house so the family could not see it. quincy woke them up at 6 in the morning from the tent and told the dickkkkks to look at their house.
the bus driver was smiling and the adults kept telling the bus to move. but quincy was laughing. every body got quite and looked at quincy laughing. then he clapped his hands the bus driver gave a middle finger to every body in the town. all of the sudden quincy blasted off with a rockey pack and gave the middle finger to every loser in the town. he grabbed a hot babe on his way up and laughed. the bus driver pushed the button and the whole house exploded into a million pieces and even the tent! 10 adults got killed and even a gerbil that was just watching from the street. the bus driver died too but he did a favor. in 2 days everyone in the town found out that TITS was a drug lord and her kids didnt even own that cat named Steve that burned to a crisp.
quincy spent the rest of his week on jupiter with 60 babes and just had some sex and watched cartoons for 15 hours a day. if a babe complained he would just make her go hang out in the big red spot. after that no babes ever complained or stopped touching his dick
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Jeff write another story about Jason, the kid born with a full beard.
March 7, 2009 3:55 PM
Chip Coffey said...
I was looking at your awesome site. You have amazing talents!
A while back you mentioned a puppet named Jason. I would love to learn more about this Jason.
March 6, 2009 11:19 AM
these are some fan mails i got and most of my fans like jason and want to hear about him. so i found another jason story and here it is. thanks fans!
jason was the only kid ever to be 2 and have a full beard. he looked like a bald man when he was 2 but he had a full beard. and he drank his moms tits for breakfast and lunch and dinner. he was a cool 2 year old kid and sometimes he even just take a shit on the ground in his house even though he knew how to take a adult shit in a toilet. jason had a nice life but then he turned 15!
when jason was 15 his beard was 4 foot long and his dick was 2. babes loved it but all the boys hated it. jasons best friend was named victor. it is actualy funny that jason even talked to victor cause he had NO beard and a zero foot dickkkkkkkkk! but they still were buds and jason would let victor watch him play wii. one day victor had a great idea that would change his life.
they needed some money but they didnt want to work to much so they thought of a awesome idea! jason decided that they would bury adults pets for money. and they would also give a funeral for the pet. it was called dead pets. the next day they made some nice suits to wear and they also made some id cards out of plastic. then they stole a shovel from a old man and walked down the street.
they knocked on every door and no adults would pay them to bury there pets. victor was dumb and he just got sad and cried. jason was smart and he knew what to do. jason bought a gun and then at night him and victor broke into every adults house and beat there pets to death!!! victor cut a snake in half with a ninja sword, jason smashed hermit crabs with a slege hammer and victor totally burned down 3 fish tanks. that night they killed 40 cats! and 10 dogs!! the next day they made 4 million dollars!!!!!!!
two weeks later jason was swimming in a pool with 90 babes on a island. 10 babes were in charge of food and 30 babes were in charge of his beard and 59 babes were in charge of his dick and one babe was in charge of cleaning up all of his poop. she was a totally ugly babe and not even a babe. she was a girl. no one ever knew that jason killed all the cats and dogs. one day a cop named Danny came up to jason and pulled out a gun.
"i know you killed pets!" said danny
"fuck animals!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" screamed jason
all of the sudden a flock of swans flied out of jasons beard and right into dannys dick!!!!! he tried to shoot the swans but instead he shot his dick right off!!!!!!!
from that day on danny always peed right in his pants caus he had no dick. jason would always laugh about it and then just comb his beard some more. his beard is red and pretty long.
Saturday, March 7, 2009
ME AND KMAC JUST DESTORYED SOME DICKS ON TEAM SLAYER ON H3!!!!!!! JUSTIN K IS OVER AND BROGUHT A 360 AND WE ARE REALLY TRYING TO KILL SOME PEOPLE ALL NIGHT! I WILL TRY TO KILL SOOO MANY PEEPS BUT I WILL ALSO TRY NOT TO GET KILLED. IF U EVER PLAYED THIS GAME U SHOULD KNOW THAT IT IS GOOD TO KILL AND BAD TO DIE.
I AM GONNA MAKE A BOOB POST SOON!!!!!!!! DICKSSKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Friday, March 6, 2009
they are many babes that i like that are alive right now. A.T. / L.S. / S.M and i also like a wonderful babe. she has a real hot face and she also is famous and she even has some boobs. she is my ultimate babe and her name is ashley tisdale. if u dont know who she is then u are a DORKZOID who probaly loves to be gay 24/7. if u know who she is then i dont have to explain the sex that i want to make with her.
she was on the suite life of zack and cody and when i watch it i always wanted to change the name of the show to I HAVE A WOODY! she is also in high school musical and she is even more hotter in that movie. she was born on july 2 1985 and she is older than me but on her site she said that she loves all of her fans. this is a real babe story about when i met her last year and she wanted to make some sex with me.
"HEY! hey cute kid come over to my nice car for a minute" said a babe
"who me?" said me
"yah i saw you playing kickball and i think u are a hot man."
"i am a kid" said me
"thats ok" said the babe
i walk over to the car and it is real nice but then i see the babes face! it is ashley tisdale!!!!!
all of the sudden my woody is totally moving and i start to put on my babe moves.
"what do u want" said me
"i need to know how to get to the wal-mart" ashley tisdale said
i hurry up and get in her car and scream for her to floor it! she is scared and doesnt know why but i push her foot down with my hand and make her fly. she is still scared and i tell her that some robot kids spotted me and we need to go to her house now! she understands and drives me.
"how old are u?"
"i am 12 (i was actually 11) but i could drive this car better than ur parents."
she seemed like she was thinking about if i like to have sex.
"yes" said me
"yes what?????" said ashley
"i like sex" said me
she was sooooo embarrassed.
"i know ur thoughts" said me cause i sometimes know what people are thinking even if they dont say it or write it down.
i told her to drive me to her house. when we got to her house i saw that it was a mansion. there were 50 stateus of awesome lions everywhere. i took a picture of one and it is my desktop background now. we went into her house and the first thing that i did was tell her parents to leave. they didnt try to argue with me caus i showed them my sword that i brought in my pack. ashely was real impressed and made me a ice cream cone and a slushie. she has a dairy queen in her house. after i ate my ice cream and slushie i told her we should have some sex now caus i had to be back home caus i had baseball practice.
she clapped her hands and all of the sudden the dairy queen turned into her bed! next she put on a swim suite and then she told me to take my pants off! i was getting real charged. i said that i love her and then i went to grab her boobs. but then it happened!
all of the sudden her pap pap ran into the room with a ninja sword on and full armor. i couldnt kill him with my sword caus i took my pants off. he tried to cut off my dickkk but i ran like a cat out hte winodw and into her pool. ashley tisdale's parents are total dickkkkks and they had tigers living in the pool. i was able to kill one to death with a noodle. but then one bit me.
then i woke up in the hospitol. i looked at my arm and it was totally gone!!!! then i passed out. the next thing that happened as i woke up on a ufo! a alein had gave me a robot arm that was made special for kids. so from that day on i had a robot arm. i still have it. and i can throw a basbeall threw a human and i can punch a kid 400 miles and i have a laser setting but i never used it.ashley tisdale is a babe but her parents are total dick fuck dorkzoids! but now i have a robot arm. i wish i had a robot dickkkkk.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
thanks for the votes fans!!! narwhal story! now!
once upon time there was a narwhal who lived in the ocean. he lived in the cold part near santa claus and he always swam around. when the narwhal was born he named himself Marcus. his dad named Tom hated the name marcus but his dad hated it more when marcus took a razor and cut off tom's dickk!!!!!!!! his dad didnt know it but marcus was a super narwhal.
a super narwhal is a narwhal who can do awesome shit. here is some shit marcus can do without even trying hard:
swim 200 mph
jump out of the water
hold his breath until he is dead
murder a whole family or school of fish
fuck any babe
these are good powers. and all of the scientists knew it too. one day a scientist named doctor pussy found out that marcus was awesome and he said he would catch marcus. the next day he caught marcus. then marcus was in a zoo. marcus hated the zoo caus he could only swim 10 feet and they never let him fuck any babes.
one day a cool kid who really apreciated narwhals was at the zoo with his dumb family. the kid was named jay and he was really amazingly cool. his dad was there and another lady who thought she was his mom. jay made a awesome plan with some big kids who were almost ninjas. these ninjas were really cool too and they were tall, and knew about kaarate and they smoked. the first thing jay did was pay another kid 20 bucks to run naked into a room to make adults chase him. when the kid did it jay and his ninjas sprang into action! the first ninja grabbed jay's dad by his dickkk and chucked him into a shark tank. jay paid the sharks 20 bucks to totlly eat his fucking head!!!!! the dad was gone. next was tracey and 2 ninjas paid a janitor 400 bucks to run over her with a lawnmower!!! LOL her fat arms got caught in the blade and she morphed her fat into a gremlin!!!!!! the gremlin ran up the janitor and sucked all the blood out of his dick and his body!!!!!!!!!!! next the gremlin ran up to a kid and was like 'hey kid u want some cool twix?'
the kid was just a kid and he wanted some twix so he said ya. then the gremlin totally took out a machine gun and murdered the kid. he never got twix. the kid was 8 and his name was washington.
then the gremlin ran towards jay. but jay was ready he smiled and took out a magic canon. he huried and fired a canonball right at the gremlin's vagina!!! the gremlin smiled back and caught the canonball and then whipped it right into jays dick. it hit him right in the dick part of his dick. and that was hurting so bad. the gremlin was laughing and took out a rope to hang jay. just when the gremlin was going to hang jay it happened!
TOOT TOOT TOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!
a brave kid named kmac played a note on a flute that marcus the narwhal heard. all of the sudden marcus jumped out his cage and cut jay down from the rope on his neck. the gremlin was ready and threw a grenade filled with piss at kmac. all of the piss got in his mouth and he chocked until he died from piss posoining. marcus took his tusk and slammed it into the gremlins eye. the gremlin was dead and so was jays step mom who is the gremlin.
jay was so happy and he hugged marcus and got on him to ride him back to the ocean. but marcus didnt even budge a foot!!!!! jay checked his pulse and he knew it was done! marcus was dead. he was dead caus narwhals cant breath. jay was so mad and he should have known it. he was sad and took kmacs flute and played a whale song. all of the sudden marcus came awake and was moving around and then he started dancing and singing!!!!! all of the sudden he got a humungus boner and then strated bouncing like a pogo stick around and he bounced all the way to the ocean with his boner stick!!!!!! jay went to and eventually he used some fins and lived in the water too. they were best friends and always had fun swimming and playing wii and going to the mall with babes. jay cleaned off the piss from the flute before he played that song too.