Tuesday, February 10, 2009

QUINCY FANS

all of quincys friends knew that he liked to fuck human women but humans didnt know caus quincy hated humans. quincy hated humans caus he worked at sears. and humans would always come to him to buy there shit. but quincy was smart. he would always take a piss in there bags. and then when the human got home the piss would do either 2 things. if it was a man human then the piss would stay as piss and make his clothes and shit smell like shitt and piss. if it was a human woman then the piss would turn into an elf and then it would send an email to quincy to tell him there was a human woman to fuck. quincy got the email on his cell and he would get in his hellicopter and fly to the fuckzone. usually he would fly into the house and chop off the roof so he could have more fuckzone!!!!!
when he got to the house he would be nice to hthe human woman and usully he would bake a cake or sometimes he would put some oil in there car. after that he would clear the house of human men and also pets. the only kind of pet that quincy liked was a 8 year old kid named saul that he kept in a hot tub by his bed. when the house was clear quincy would take off his jeans and then make sure that the babe saw his dick. his dick was a wierd dick and only one person ever saw it and lived to talk about it. but i never even met that person so i dont know what it would be like. but this human woman saw his dick and it was made out of complete metal and paintted red with a flame. after quincy had some sex with the woman then he usully would just cook some pork chopps for him to eat. after he made some sex he always loved those.
sears was not the only place were quincy worked. he also worked a secrey agent for the spys! he woudl go around and try to find magic crystals. these crystals would give him the power he needs to fuck a human woman but he would never tell the spys about it. he kept all his crystals in a secret jar that was made out of metal so that no one could get it. one day a dumb adult did get it and they opened the jar! but the adult was dumb and a adult so they didnt know that a warrior kid was on watch. SHOOOOOOOOSH!!!!!! A 40 FOOT SWORD WENT RIGHT INTO HIS EAR! the warrior kid took him to the hospitol but he died from cancer in a day.
one time when quincy was 4 years old he wrote a whole movie and named it FUCK YOU! he bought a model airplane and put his cat named tom in the seat and flew it into the sun. these are some of the things quincy always does but there is one thing he only did one time!
one day quincy had a birthday and he was 11 years old. he invited everyone in the world and even a fat girl named melissa jentie! LOL! everyone ws claspping and dancing around and some of hte people were even having some sex. his best friend chester came to the party and he did a magic trick. he clapped his hands and a horse dragged in a plastic bag with a dead human woman in it. then chester tyed the woman to a pole and pulled off her underwear. quincy was laughing and he even took off his sunglasses to see the action. chester came over to quincy and gave him a hug and then sprinked some maghical ferry dust on quincys glasses. and then quincy put them back on. WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!! ALL OF HTE SUDDEN QUINCY GOT A BONER THAT WAS 90000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 FEET LONG AND IT SLAMMEED RIGHT INTO THE VAGINA OF THE HUMAN WOMAN AND SHE WOKE UP!!!!!! THEN BABYS JUST STARTED COMING OUT OF HER VAGINA AND DANCING AND SINGING A COOL SONG! QUINCY MADE HER HAVE BABYS AND IT TOOK 1 SECOND. AFTER 3 YEARS SHE WAS DONE HAVING THE BABYS AND SHE HAD MADE 10000000 KIDS. all of the kids were dead in 2 days. accept for 1 kid. and he was named martin brodeur. he grew up in an igloo and then one day he learned how to be a devils goalie. 20 years later he was the best person in the univerrse!

4 comments:

Roger Padactor said...

THIS IS ONE OF THE MOST EPIC FUCKIN' POSTS EVER!!!!!!!! VIVA LA PASWICK!!!!! FOREVER!!!!!!!!

Ed Rears said...

Epic Quincy post Jeff! Keep the Quincy stories coming!

Tom Hanks said...

Quincy has morphed into one of the most iconic literary figures in American Literature

Jamie Langenbrunner said...

I score all of these goals and you can't even post everyday?