Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Marcus


thanks for the votes fans!!! narwhal story! now!

once upon time there was a narwhal who lived in the ocean. he lived in the cold part near santa claus and he always swam around. when the narwhal was born he named himself Marcus. his dad named Tom hated the name marcus but his dad hated it more when marcus took a razor and cut off tom's dickk!!!!!!!! his dad didnt know it but marcus was a super narwhal.
a super narwhal is a narwhal who can do awesome shit. here is some shit marcus can do without even trying hard:
swim 200 mph
jump out of the water
hold his breath until he is dead
murder a whole family or school of fish
fuck any babe
these are good powers. and all of the scientists knew it too. one day a scientist named doctor pussy found out that marcus was awesome and he said he would catch marcus. the next day he caught marcus. then marcus was in a zoo. marcus hated the zoo caus he could only swim 10 feet and they never let him fuck any babes.
one day a cool kid who really apreciated narwhals was at the zoo with his dumb family. the kid was named jay and he was really amazingly cool. his dad was there and another lady who thought she was his mom. jay made a awesome plan with some big kids who were almost ninjas. these ninjas were really cool too and they were tall, and knew about kaarate and they smoked. the first thing jay did was pay another kid 20 bucks to run naked into a room to make adults chase him. when the kid did it jay and his ninjas sprang into action! the first ninja grabbed jay's dad by his dickkk and chucked him into a shark tank. jay paid the sharks 20 bucks to totlly eat his fucking head!!!!! the dad was gone. next was tracey and 2 ninjas paid a janitor 400 bucks to run over her with a lawnmower!!! LOL her fat arms got caught in the blade and she morphed her fat into a gremlin!!!!!! the gremlin ran up the janitor and sucked all the blood out of his dick and his body!!!!!!!!!!! next the gremlin ran up to a kid and was like 'hey kid u want some cool twix?'
the kid was just a kid and he wanted some twix so he said ya. then the gremlin totally took out a machine gun and murdered the kid. he never got twix. the kid was 8 and his name was washington.
then the gremlin ran towards jay. but jay was ready he smiled and took out a magic canon. he huried and fired a canonball right at the gremlin's vagina!!! the gremlin smiled back and caught the canonball and then whipped it right into jays dick. it hit him right in the dick part of his dick. and that was hurting so bad. the gremlin was laughing and took out a rope to hang jay. just when the gremlin was going to hang jay it happened!
TOOT TOOT TOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!
a brave kid named kmac played a note on a flute that marcus the narwhal heard. all of the sudden marcus jumped out his cage and cut jay down from the rope on his neck. the gremlin was ready and threw a grenade filled with piss at kmac. all of the piss got in his mouth and he chocked until he died from piss posoining. marcus took his tusk and slammed it into the gremlins eye. the gremlin was dead and so was jays step mom who is the gremlin.
jay was so happy and he hugged marcus and got on him to ride him back to the ocean. but marcus didnt even budge a foot!!!!! jay checked his pulse and he knew it was done! marcus was dead. he was dead caus narwhals cant breath. jay was so mad and he should have known it. he was sad and took kmacs flute and played a whale song. all of the sudden marcus came awake and was moving around and then he started dancing and singing!!!!! all of the sudden he got a humungus boner and then strated bouncing like a pogo stick around and he bounced all the way to the ocean with his boner stick!!!!!! jay went to and eventually he used some fins and lived in the water too. they were best friends and always had fun swimming and playing wii and going to the mall with babes. jay cleaned off the piss from the flute before he played that song too.

4 comments:

Rodderick Booker said...

Jeff where do you get all of your great pictures of narwahls and iguanas?

Anonymous said...

This blog is unbelievable. No way you are a 12 year old kid.

Chip Coffey said...

Jeffrey,

I was looking at your awesome site. You have amazing talents!

A while back you mentioned a puppet named Jason. I would love to learn more about this Jason.

-Chip
-paranormal investigator.

Anonymous said...

you are a legend