JEFFREY PASWICK.com

R.I.P.

2010-01-19T11:15:00.004-05:00

April 21, 1996 - June 5, 2009

Young Jeffrey Paswick's life was cut short by an AARP sniper this summer while petitioning for children's rights in Washington, D.C. Though Jeffrey only lived 13 short years, he accomplished more than most adults. He hosted this web-site which drew visitors from over 10 continents. Through his tireless efforts to establish later bed-times, more recess and climate change to increase snow days, Jeffrey has ensured that kids everywhere no longer have to live by the rules of adults.
Shortly before Jeffrey's death he signed a 5 year agreement with President Barrack Obama to establish a small "kid community" in northeast Montana. This community would cater to kids and permit no one over 14 to enter the city limits. Jeffrey was to act as mayor of this glorious city, but obviously things have changed. Thankfully, I have agreed to continue the fight and take up Jeffrey's cause. May his spirit live on in the hearts and minds of all kids, and may every adult on earth be speared by a full-grown narwhal and driven to the depths of the sea to bitter cold grave.

- K-Mac

magic tricks

2009-05-20T14:51:00.000-04:00

once upon of time there was a magical kid named ezkiel who was a complete wizard. he knwe all kinds of sorcerry and mahgic tricks. when he was 1 year old he made his mom disappear and when he was 2 he turned his dad into a wii. he always played wii but he was sad cuz he couldnt make enough money selling rubies and jewels to buy some new wii games. the only game he had was original medal of honor.
one day he decided to use his powers to get some more money. the first thing he did was murder a adult because he knew he could use its blood for some potion. so he put a dictionary on top of a bear trap and then snuck into a hiding place behind a tree to wait for a adult. the first adult who saw the dictionary stepped right into his trap and was cut right in half like a total dickkkkkkkkkkkk. ezkiel was laughing but then he picked up hte blood and went back to his room. the next thing he needed was a monkey's dick. so he went to the zoo and hired a zoo keeper to cut off the dick for $20. the next thing he needed was hte hardest. he need a whole milk jug full of diarrhea from a baby. ezkiel didnt know any babies and he knew he couldnt make one. he went to the hospital and tried to collect some diarrhea from the babies but they all had on diapers.
the next thing he did was take off the diapers and then he told the babys to take a dump. only one of the babies named david did. the other ones just cried or slept. this made ezkiel made so he hired an inventor named dr. fucktubs to make a diarrhea machine. the machine was done in 2 hgours and hten ezkiel hooked it up to the asses of hte babies. everything was going totally good until all of hte sudden a bolt shot off the machine and killed a nurse. then the machine went bonkers!!!!!! bolts were flying and mini lightning and sparks and all kinds of scary shit. then suddenly the machine started to get real big and a smart adult yelled "go run you kids and nurses and get the babies and doctors run to! run you dicks!!!"
everyone ran but one adult and a kid were deaf so they never heard. all of the sudden the diarrhea machine exploded and every adult in the hospital died of diarrhea posioning. everyone was sad, except for the kids. a real nice kid had stole a bunch of cookie ice cream sandwiches from the hospital and gave them to the kids.
THE END

hey dickkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkks

2009-04-15T19:25:00.001-04:00

a lot of u dickkks proly thought that a predator got me or maybe even some smarty pants adult came and grounded me again. but guess what dickkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkks and fans i was just having sex with a ton of babes. and even kmac got to have sex with some of them when i was sleeping or eating some pretzels and stuff.
i have been gone long from my website but its caus of the sex and its caus i was at the game last night and we won it! i know that everyone saw marty and he was awesome and that is why we will win the stanly cup!! everyone that plays hockey not for the devils is either a dickkkkkkkkkkkkkk or a wooooooooooooody! u can decide it!!
i decided to come back and make a cool post about what everyone likes and that is a iguana named quincy fuck.

one of the best times in the history of times is when quincy had his own tv channel and it was called FUCKKKKKKK TV. it was channel 402 and it always had a cool quincy logo on the bottom of the show. the channel was made by quincy and it had some cool shows of quincys and then also some news and some shows of king of queens. but the best show was extreme home makeoever and quincy was the host.

it was just like that show on abc but this show had quincy as the host. one episode was really nice. there was a poor family that looked like michael jordan who had just had their dad get exploded by a helicopter bomb. so it was just the mom and 2 kids who were boys. the mom was named TITS and the kids were called TOM and HORACE!
the first thing that quincy did was set their house on fire while they were still inside it!! then the cameras filmed the family running out the house fast. everyone was safe outside but then they forgot about the cat named STEVE! HE WAS DEAD AS A DICKKKKKKKKKKKKK! TOTAL BURNED! and quincy put the microphone by the window and you could hear the cat screaming PENISSSSSSSSSSSSSSS really loudly.
the next thing quincy did was set up a tent for them to live in while they made them a new house. it was a really great tent and had tons of space to lay down and even eat some chips. each kid got a bag of tostios to eat.
the next thing quincy did was buy a shotgun at a gun store. then he went around the neighborhgood and forced adults to join his construction team. then he made all the adults use their credit cards to buy cool shit for quincy and some wood boards to build a house.
they even bought him a gaming chair with a built in speaker.
after 6 months the adults had built a pretty cool house that had 5 rooms in it and a roof. quincy was sitting in his gaming chair the wholle time.
then came the day! and a huggggggggge bus was in front of the house so the family could not see it. quincy woke them up at 6 in the morning from the tent and told the dickkkkks to look at their house.
the bus driver was smiling and the adults kept telling the bus to move. but quincy was laughing. every body got quite and looked at quincy laughing. then he clapped his hands the bus driver gave a middle finger to every body in the town. all of the sudden quincy blasted off with a rockey pack and gave the middle finger to every loser in the town. he grabbed a hot babe on his way up and laughed. the bus driver pushed the button and the whole house exploded into a million pieces and even the tent! 10 adults got killed and even a gerbil that was just watching from the street. the bus driver died too but he did a favor. in 2 days everyone in the town found out that TITS was a drug lord and her kids didnt even own that cat named Steve that burned to a crisp.
quincy spent the rest of his week on jupiter with 60 babes and just had some sex and watched cartoons for 15 hours a day. if a babe complained he would just make her go hang out in the big red spot. after that no babes ever complained or stopped touching his dick

Jason is here!!

2009-03-18T15:02:00.000-04:00

Anonymous said...

Jeff write another story about Jason, the kid born with a full beard.

March 7, 2009 3:55 PM

Chip Coffey said...

Jeffrey,

I was looking at your awesome site. You have amazing talents!

A while back you mentioned a puppet named Jason. I would love to learn more about this Jason.

-Chip
-paranormal investigator.

March 6, 2009 11:19 AM

these are some fan mails i got and most of my fans like jason and want to hear about him. so i found another jason story and here it is. thanks fans!

jason was the only kid ever to be 2 and have a full beard. he looked like a bald man when he was 2 but he had a full beard. and he drank his moms tits for breakfast and lunch and dinner. he was a cool 2 year old kid and sometimes he even just take a shit on the ground in his house even though he knew how to take a adult shit in a toilet. jason had a nice life but then he turned 15!

when jason was 15 his beard was 4 foot long and his dick was 2. babes loved it but all the boys hated it. jasons best friend was named victor. it is actualy funny that jason even talked to victor cause he had NO beard and a zero foot dickkkkkkkkk! but they still were buds and jason would let victor watch him play wii. one day victor had a great idea that would change his life.

they needed some money but they didnt want to work to much so they thought of a awesome idea! jason decided that they would bury adults pets for money. and they would also give a funeral for the pet. it was called dead pets. the next day they made some nice suits to wear and they also made some id cards out of plastic. then they stole a shovel from a old man and walked down the street.

they knocked on every door and no adults would pay them to bury there pets. victor was dumb and he just got sad and cried. jason was smart and he knew what to do. jason bought a gun and then at night him and victor broke into every adults house and beat there pets to death!!! victor cut a snake in half with a ninja sword, jason smashed hermit crabs with a slege hammer and victor totally burned down 3 fish tanks. that night they killed 40 cats! and 10 dogs!! the next day they made 4 million dollars!!!!!!!

two weeks later jason was swimming in a pool with 90 babes on a island. 10 babes were in charge of food and 30 babes were in charge of his beard and 59 babes were in charge of his dick and one babe was in charge of cleaning up all of his poop. she was a totally ugly babe and not even a babe. she was a girl. no one ever knew that jason killed all the cats and dogs. one day a cop named Danny came up to jason and pulled out a gun.

"i know you killed pets!" said danny

"fuck animals!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" screamed jason

all of the sudden a flock of swans flied out of jasons beard and right into dannys dick!!!!! he tried to shoot the swans but instead he shot his dick right off!!!!!!!

from that day on danny always peed right in his pants caus he had no dick. jason would always laugh about it and then just comb his beard some more. his beard is red and pretty long.

DICKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKS

2009-03-07T21:53:00.001-05:00

ME AND KMAC JUST DESTORYED SOME DICKS ON TEAM SLAYER ON H3!!!!!!! JUSTIN K IS OVER AND BROGUHT A 360 AND WE ARE REALLY TRYING TO KILL SOME PEOPLE ALL NIGHT! I WILL TRY TO KILL SOOO MANY PEEPS BUT I WILL ALSO TRY NOT TO GET KILLED. IF U EVER PLAYED THIS GAME U SHOULD KNOW THAT IT IS GOOD TO KILL AND BAD TO DIE.
I AM GONNA MAKE A BOOB POST SOON!!!!!!!! DICKSSKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

great sex

2009-03-06T15:49:00.001-05:00

fans, i made some quincy posts and real narwhal storys but now i am going to do a famous babe post. LOL

they are many babes that i like that are alive right now. A.T. / L.S. / S.M and i also like a wonderful babe. she has a real hot face and she also is famous and she even has some boobs. she is my ultimate babe and her name is ashley tisdale. if u dont know who she is then u are a DORKZOID who probaly loves to be gay 24/7. if u know who she is then i dont have to explain the sex that i want to make with her.
she was on the suite life of zack and cody and when i watch it i always wanted to change the name of the show to I HAVE A WOODY! she is also in high school musical and she is even more hotter in that movie. she was born on july 2 1985 and she is older than me but on her site she said that she loves all of her fans. this is a real babe story about when i met her last year and she wanted to make some sex with me.
"HEY! hey cute kid come over to my nice car for a minute" said a babe
"who me?" said me
"yah i saw you playing kickball and i think u are a hot man."
"i am a kid" said me
"thats ok" said the babe
i walk over to the car and it is real nice but then i see the babes face! it is ashley tisdale!!!!!
all of the sudden my woody is totally moving and i start to put on my babe moves.
"what do u want" said me

"i need to know how to get to the wal-mart" ashley tisdale said
i hurry up and get in her car and scream for her to floor it! she is scared and doesnt know why but i push her foot down with my hand and make her fly. she is still scared and i tell her that some robot kids spotted me and we need to go to her house now! she understands and drives me.

"how old are u?"
"i am 12 (i was actually 11) but i could drive this car better than ur parents."
she seemed like she was thinking about if i like to have sex.
"yes" said me
"yes what?????" said ashley
"i like sex" said me
she was sooooo embarrassed.
"i know ur thoughts" said me cause i sometimes know what people are thinking even if they dont say it or write it down.
i told her to drive me to her house. when we got to her house i saw that it was a mansion. there were 50 stateus of awesome lions everywhere. i took a picture of one and it is my desktop background now. we went into her house and the first thing that i did was tell her parents to leave. they didnt try to argue with me caus i showed them my sword that i brought in my pack. ashely was real impressed and made me a ice cream cone and a slushie. she has a dairy queen in her house. after i ate my ice cream and slushie i told her we should have some sex now caus i had to be back home caus i had baseball practice.
she clapped her hands and all of the sudden the dairy queen turned into her bed! next she put on a swim suite and then she told me to take my pants off! i was getting real charged. i said that i love her and then i went to grab her boobs. but then it happened!

all of the sudden her pap pap ran into the room with a ninja sword on and full armor. i couldnt kill him with my sword caus i took my pants off. he tried to cut off my dickkk but i ran like a cat out hte winodw and into her pool. ashley tisdale's parents are total dickkkkks and they had tigers living in the pool. i was able to kill one to death with a noodle. but then one bit me.
then i woke up in the hospitol. i looked at my arm and it was totally gone!!!! then i passed out. the next thing that happened as i woke up on a ufo! a alein had gave me a robot arm that was made special for kids. so from that day on i had a robot arm. i still have it. and i can throw a basbeall threw a human and i can punch a kid 400 miles and i have a laser setting but i never used it.ashley tisdale is a babe but her parents are total dick fuck dorkzoids! but now i have a robot arm. i wish i had a robot dickkkkk.

Marcus

2009-03-04T16:02:00.002-05:00

thanks for the votes fans!!! narwhal story! now!

once upon time there was a narwhal who lived in the ocean. he lived in the cold part near santa claus and he always swam around. when the narwhal was born he named himself Marcus. his dad named Tom hated the name marcus but his dad hated it more when marcus took a razor and cut off tom's dickk!!!!!!!! his dad didnt know it but marcus was a super narwhal.
a super narwhal is a narwhal who can do awesome shit. here is some shit marcus can do without even trying hard:
swim 200 mph
jump out of the water
hold his breath until he is dead
murder a whole family or school of fish
fuck any babe
these are good powers. and all of the scientists knew it too. one day a scientist named doctor pussy found out that marcus was awesome and he said he would catch marcus. the next day he caught marcus. then marcus was in a zoo. marcus hated the zoo caus he could only swim 10 feet and they never let him fuck any babes.
one day a cool kid who really apreciated narwhals was at the zoo with his dumb family. the kid was named jay and he was really amazingly cool. his dad was there and another lady who thought she was his mom. jay made a awesome plan with some big kids who were almost ninjas. these ninjas were really cool too and they were tall, and knew about kaarate and they smoked. the first thing jay did was pay another kid 20 bucks to run naked into a room to make adults chase him. when the kid did it jay and his ninjas sprang into action! the first ninja grabbed jay's dad by his dickkk and chucked him into a shark tank. jay paid the sharks 20 bucks to totlly eat his fucking head!!!!! the dad was gone. next was tracey and 2 ninjas paid a janitor 400 bucks to run over her with a lawnmower!!! LOL her fat arms got caught in the blade and she morphed her fat into a gremlin!!!!!! the gremlin ran up the janitor and sucked all the blood out of his dick and his body!!!!!!!!!!! next the gremlin ran up to a kid and was like 'hey kid u want some cool twix?'
the kid was just a kid and he wanted some twix so he said ya. then the gremlin totally took out a machine gun and murdered the kid. he never got twix. the kid was 8 and his name was washington.
then the gremlin ran towards jay. but jay was ready he smiled and took out a magic canon. he huried and fired a canonball right at the gremlin's vagina!!! the gremlin smiled back and caught the canonball and then whipped it right into jays dick. it hit him right in the dick part of his dick. and that was hurting so bad. the gremlin was laughing and took out a rope to hang jay. just when the gremlin was going to hang jay it happened!
TOOT TOOT TOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!
a brave kid named kmac played a note on a flute that marcus the narwhal heard. all of the sudden marcus jumped out his cage and cut jay down from the rope on his neck. the gremlin was ready and threw a grenade filled with piss at kmac. all of the piss got in his mouth and he chocked until he died from piss posoining. marcus took his tusk and slammed it into the gremlins eye. the gremlin was dead and so was jays step mom who is the gremlin.
jay was so happy and he hugged marcus and got on him to ride him back to the ocean. but marcus didnt even budge a foot!!!!! jay checked his pulse and he knew it was done! marcus was dead. he was dead caus narwhals cant breath. jay was so mad and he should have known it. he was sad and took kmacs flute and played a whale song. all of the sudden marcus came awake and was moving around and then he started dancing and singing!!!!! all of the sudden he got a humungus boner and then strated bouncing like a pogo stick around and he bounced all the way to the ocean with his boner stick!!!!!! jay went to and eventually he used some fins and lived in the water too. they were best friends and always had fun swimming and playing wii and going to the mall with babes. jay cleaned off the piss from the flute before he played that song too.

QUINCY BIRTHDAY

2009-03-03T15:02:00.003-05:00

FANS YOU VOTED FOR A POST ABOUT QUINCY SO I REMEMBERED ANOTHER QUINCY STORY.

one day quincy woke up in his room. he was totally naked except for some jean shorts he got for christmas. there were 4 human women around him and they were sleeping very quitely. quincy decided to play a trick on the babes. he found a big stick and put a hook on it. then he lifted each babe up by there underpants and hung them on the fan in his room! LOL when all the babes were on the fan he clapped his hands and it happened! nickelback was blasting in the fan turned on going 500 miles per hour!!!!!!!!!! the babes didnt even have a chance to scream stop. all of the sudden one babe flew off the fan and went right into a giant dagger that quincy taped to the wall for safety. two of the babes flew off and crushed there heads together. one of the heads rolled away and the other head stayed on the ground. the last babe tried to hang on but she flew off and got ripped in 40 pieces by the fan! the other head on the ground was still alive. but it was crying and couldnt move. that head was named susan. quincy was laughing and he whistled. all of sudden a robot roomba came into the room and vaporized the head with a laser beam! the rest of susan died the next day.
quincy was feeling so happy but then he got pissed!!!!! he forgot that today was his birthday and those babes were a birthday present for him fro mhis best friend named chester! he forgot his birthday and he forgot to fuck the human women. he tried to find some parts of the babes and maybe thought he could make one super babe. but he couldnt find any boobs he liked. this was one of his worst birthdays. he called up his neighbor named mr. dickkk cause he wanted to have some fun. mr. dickk said he was tired and couldnt go out for beers or to fuck some human women. mr. dickk is a half robot half dolphin. quincy was even more fuckkkked now! so he decided to make a master plan. he went out to the store and made a human buy him a gun. then quincy rang mr.dickkks door and shot him right in the head. then he got some ice cream cake and chester took away the babes and bought him an extra nunchuck for multiplayer games.

FANS POLL

2009-02-26T15:01:00.000-05:00

fans i made a poll that you can vote on what stories u want me to make up for my website. just pick your favorite kind of story and i will make some cool stories. whatever one has the most votes on that day is what i will write about. have fun being my fan but dont be a dickkk or talk to an adult unless they are asking you what u want for ur birthday.

MR HARVERD TOOK A HUMUNGUS SHIT!!!!!!!!

2009-02-25T15:14:00.004-05:00

today i had to take a big piss. and i had to take it real bad. so i was at school and i left the class to go take my piss. i walked in the bathroom and you know what i see! i see a total dickkkkkk taking a piss! but he was taking a piss with his pants down to the shoes!!!!!!! i saw his legs and i saw his butt cheeks on the bottom!!!!! it was a fuck dick named devin fuckin price!!!!!!!!!!!
i was about a second away from taking out a plasma rifle and firing a plasma charge into his dick hole!!! but hte dick saw i was there and pulled up his pants! i didnt even say a word but my brain was saying all kinds of awesome stuff! it was saying to make a fire on his head and to take a baseball bat and hit him in the head with it and then stick a hockey stick right up his assss! a goalie stick!!!!!!!! on the shooting end!!!!!
i went in the toilet to take my piss caus i was scared that devin was a total faget and would show his dick to me and try to trick me to touch it! i knew better.
i was taking a piss when i found something that was total bullshit!!!!!!! next to me someone was taking a humongus shit!!!!!!!! and it was a adult shit caus i heard a lot of water drops and they were loud like a lot of big turds like a adult would shit out! a big adult!!!!!! and there was alot of sounds and gronts so loud. i hurried and pissed but then i almost got out when the adult was done taking a shit! the door opened and i was soo scared it smlled like someone light a outhouse on fire that was so full of dead kids that smelled like jessie heaton. LOL. the adult was MR. HARVERD AND EVERYONE KNOWS THAT HE LOOKS LIKE A ELEPHANT WHO COULD TAKE A HUMUNGUS SHIT. his face was all red and proly caus he knew i heard his grunts and i heard the water sounds of how big his shit was!!!!!!!! i just was trying to be nice and told him i wouldnt tell anyone that i heard him. he was laughing and i dont even know why. what a total weirdo! sometimes if someone gets hit by a car it is funny.

corey

2009-02-14T22:27:00.000-05:00

once upon a time there was a totally cool kid named corey. he had cool clothes, 2 wiis , his own tiger and tons of great babes. one day after he killed a loin with his dick he went to dairy queen to get a coke. when he got there he made a adult buy him a coke and the dumb adult did it! corey sat on a bench with 5 vbabes and drinked a coke. he drank it so fast that he acidentaly swolled the ice!!! he didnt realy care though cuz he had 2 wiis and some babes. when he got to his parents house he made his dad and mom go to sleep in the living room so that he could make some sex with 2 of these baebes in there bed room. corey got in and put his dick on the girl. all of the sudden she turned into a ice sickle!!!!!!! he froze the babe! the other babe grabbed his dick and her whole arm was frozed!!!!!!!!!! dickkkkkkkkkk! then he smacked her arm and it exploded and she died. coreys dick was hurting so bad cuz it was a freeze dick. he could make any babes or lakes or oceans or adults turn into ice!!!!!!!
that night he went around and touched everyone with his dick! first people were touching it but then they got scared so he tricked them by putting a real cool glow stick on the end of it so more people wanted to touch. after a while he drank tons of beers and like 3 or 4. then he had to take a piss. so he forgot about his dick and went to grab it. all of the sudden his hands froze!!!!!!!!then he tried to pee with no hands but his piss turned into ice and went straight into his eye ball!!!!!!!!!!!! his dick piss was frozen to his eye ball!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! after that he had to wait until summer came so he could melt away his dick piss. but then his dick broke off and his hands. everyone made fun of him and he only had 1 babe. but that babe was blind and she couldnt feel dicks or hands caus she was dead.

QUINCY FANS

2009-02-10T16:17:00.000-05:00

all of quincys friends knew that he liked to fuck human women but humans didnt know caus quincy hated humans. quincy hated humans caus he worked at sears. and humans would always come to him to buy there shit. but quincy was smart. he would always take a piss in there bags. and then when the human got home the piss would do either 2 things. if it was a man human then the piss would stay as piss and make his clothes and shit smell like shitt and piss. if it was a human woman then the piss would turn into an elf and then it would send an email to quincy to tell him there was a human woman to fuck. quincy got the email on his cell and he would get in his hellicopter and fly to the fuckzone. usually he would fly into the house and chop off the roof so he could have more fuckzone!!!!!
when he got to the house he would be nice to hthe human woman and usully he would bake a cake or sometimes he would put some oil in there car. after that he would clear the house of human men and also pets. the only kind of pet that quincy liked was a 8 year old kid named saul that he kept in a hot tub by his bed. when the house was clear quincy would take off his jeans and then make sure that the babe saw his dick. his dick was a wierd dick and only one person ever saw it and lived to talk about it. but i never even met that person so i dont know what it would be like. but this human woman saw his dick and it was made out of complete metal and paintted red with a flame. after quincy had some sex with the woman then he usully would just cook some pork chopps for him to eat. after he made some sex he always loved those.
sears was not the only place were quincy worked. he also worked a secrey agent for the spys! he woudl go around and try to find magic crystals. these crystals would give him the power he needs to fuck a human woman but he would never tell the spys about it. he kept all his crystals in a secret jar that was made out of metal so that no one could get it. one day a dumb adult did get it and they opened the jar! but the adult was dumb and a adult so they didnt know that a warrior kid was on watch. SHOOOOOOOOSH!!!!!! A 40 FOOT SWORD WENT RIGHT INTO HIS EAR! the warrior kid took him to the hospitol but he died from cancer in a day.
one time when quincy was 4 years old he wrote a whole movie and named it FUCK YOU! he bought a model airplane and put his cat named tom in the seat and flew it into the sun. these are some of the things quincy always does but there is one thing he only did one time!
one day quincy had a birthday and he was 11 years old. he invited everyone in the world and even a fat girl named melissa jentie! LOL! everyone ws claspping and dancing around and some of hte people were even having some sex. his best friend chester came to the party and he did a magic trick. he clapped his hands and a horse dragged in a plastic bag with a dead human woman in it. then chester tyed the woman to a pole and pulled off her underwear. quincy was laughing and he even took off his sunglasses to see the action. chester came over to quincy and gave him a hug and then sprinked some maghical ferry dust on quincys glasses. and then quincy put them back on. WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!! ALL OF HTE SUDDEN QUINCY GOT A BONER THAT WAS 90000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 FEET LONG AND IT SLAMMEED RIGHT INTO THE VAGINA OF THE HUMAN WOMAN AND SHE WOKE UP!!!!!! THEN BABYS JUST STARTED COMING OUT OF HER VAGINA AND DANCING AND SINGING A COOL SONG! QUINCY MADE HER HAVE BABYS AND IT TOOK 1 SECOND. AFTER 3 YEARS SHE WAS DONE HAVING THE BABYS AND SHE HAD MADE 10000000 KIDS. all of the kids were dead in 2 days. accept for 1 kid. and he was named martin brodeur. he grew up in an igloo and then one day he learned how to be a devils goalie. 20 years later he was the best person in the univerrse!

Quincy

2009-02-06T15:59:00.000-05:00

FANS I KNOW YOU LIKE QUINCY AND I WILL MAKE A STORY OF QUINCY AGAIN! JUST FOR THE FANS!!!!!! THANKS!!!!!!

MELTING POT

2009-02-06T15:49:00.002-05:00

it is a friday and i should be so happy but i feel like i am a total dickkkkkkk with his dick on fire! a fire dick!!!! it is caus it is tracy schleirns birthday today and she is turning 400 years old!!!! she looks like a old bitch and she acts like a total bitch. caus she is in bitchzone 24/7!!!!! my dad peter said right when i get home that we are going to the melting pot restarant and i totally hate the place! it is packed with tons of adults and they sit and eat gay cheese like a total fagot!!!!!!! derrick is not even coming caus he is so far from a adult and i wish that my dad knew that i am a kid and will never be a adult. caus i dont wanna go either. kev i will call when it is done. the food is not even food! they have no chicken fingers! no burger! no fries!!!!! it is dick ass bitch shit cheese! and dumb fondew!!!! here is a exact story of what will happen!

DAD: ok kids it is moms birthday and she can get what she wants.
BITCH HEATHER: she isnt our real mom
ME :) : u are right but u are a slut dick toucher!
TRACEY BITCH: GIVE ME EVERYTHING IN THE OVEN! I AM SOOO FAT AND SOOO BITCHZONE THAT I WANNA EAT THE WHOLE PLACE!!!!!!!!!

that is when i will say "night cover" and i will cloak myself.
DAD: where is jeffrey!?
my dad does not know but i just took a jar of acid and poured it into his fondue. then i blew a whistle that only dogs can hear. and some lambs. my dad takes a big bite of a fondue and he bursts on fire!!!!! and heather is screaming. tracey schleirn is just eating like a little piglet. and she uses the fire to cook a cheese piece! WHAT A BITCH!!!!! that is when the dogs get there and so do some lambs. the dogs start to bite all the adults and tracey's head is bitten off by a dog with a human head that is from a black person! heather is escaping cuz she is kind of like a kid and the dogs dont pick up her smell. then all the sudden 50 lambs bite off her mouth and chew on her face!!!!!
after it is done then i blow the whistle again and the lead lamb with a saddle comes to me and i ride on him to wendys and everyhone aat the place is my friend and they all like me. u proly think that a lamb has a worse smell than a dog so they couldnt know they heather was a kid. but u are wrong and a dickkkkkkk! caus these lambs were robot lambs and could smell and frozen peice of shit from 9 gazillion miles!! and were made to kill kids that are almost adults caus they touch dicks.
then the cops get to the melting pot and they dont see anyone there.
WHERE ARE ALL THE ADULTS??? says a dumb cop named roger.
MAYBE THEY WENT TO WATCH A RATED R MOVIE says a dumb cop who is named don.
all of the sudden a million rabbits fly into the restarant and keep punching the cops right in the dickkkk.
OUCH! MY DICK IS HURTING SO BADLY! says don.
there dicks get soo sore and then they get huge and explode!!!!!!! DICK JUICE IS EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!!!!! then it is quite and no sound. no more cops and no more adults. all the kids can be safe and come out. i am smiling like the sun and kmac hooks up a wii for some sad kids to play. the next day i get picked to be president of the world. i make a rocket and put all the adults in it and luanch it at the moon!!! it explodes and all the adults die. then i make the river made of chocolate and i also make a slide that goes from new york to the moon so a kid can have fun and look at some dead adults. all the kids like me and even some babes have a sex with me some times. :) THE END

magic franky

2009-02-05T15:18:00.002-05:00

one day on a full moon a magic narcat named franky was born in a manger. franky was a super animal caus he was the best combination. he was a narcat. that means he is my favorite animal and kmacs favorit one. his mom was a narwhal and his dad was a full grown bobcat. his mom was named mary and his dad was named walter. when he was a little narcat walter taught him to groom his fur and run very fast and also how to murder sharks or other evil predetors so he could eat them. his mom taught him how to cook the dead stuff and how to clean up when he got done murdering and eating them.
one day franky took his mom to the vagina doctor cause her vagina hole was hurting. it was from a accident with a fire hose. the doctor was a man and his parents named him doctor vagina. doctor vagina looked at her vagina and was totally scared!!! she had a disease and she was going to die in 3 minutes. franky was crying but his mom said it was OK and dont cry. then 3 minutes was up but she didnt die!! franky was happy but doctor still said she was going to die so soon. franky was angry and murdered the doctor and his hole family but teh cops couldnt find out it was him caus he wore batting gloves to kill the family.
his mom was driving him home and all of the sudden her vagina caught on fire and she burned to her death. and then the car flew off the road and ran over a bobcat. franky was crying and thought the bobcat was his dad named walter. it was a bobcat and his dad named walter. his head was cut off and he could barely talk.
franky was crying but his dad said to be happy and he said he loved him. and right before he exploded he told franky how to get a boner. the next day every girl in the whole town had a birth of a baby and all them were named harrison. every baby was a boy and named harrison. franky was smiling the whole time.

ANONYMOUS

2009-02-05T15:14:00.000-05:00

2 comments:

Anonymous said...: Jesus, you are a little moron, aren't you?; February 4, 2009 4:47 PM
JESUS, YOU ARE A BIG DICKKKKKKKKK, AREN'T YOU?! ADULT!!!

Patch Adams said...: handicapped people FUCKIN SUCKKK. apparently so does 'anonymous' what a little jizz stain; February 4, 2009 9:48 PM
PATCH THANKS FOR UR HELP! YOU ARE A GOOD FAN! :)

JASON FERRIS = LAZY DICK!!!!!!!!

2009-02-04T15:10:00.001-05:00

kmac u never should have won today you dorkzoid!!!!!!!!!! jason ferris is such a dick fucker and he is why we lost to you!!! this kid is soooooooo bad at basketball!!!! mrs. chervnek gets mad if you dont pass it to all the kids and even if a kid is a slow dick fuck! most kids can catch a ball and make some shots but jason ferris is such a fuck!!!! ALL HE DOES IS SIT AROUND LIKE A FUCK!! he cant even reach the hoop on a shot AND HE CANT EVEN CATCH A PASS MOST OF THE TIME CAUS IT HITS THE METAL ON HIS WHEELCHAIR!!!!! MOST KIDS COULD USE SOME CROTTCHES OR SOMETHING TO MOVE AROUND BUT HE CANT CAUS HE HAS A DISESASE OR SOMETHING. HE WILL NEVER BE GOOD AT BASKETBALL CAUS HE'LL PROBLY ALWAYS BE SICK AND NOT EVEN BE ALIVE FOR ENOUGH TIME TO LEARN TO BE OK AT IT.
i think a presedent should make a rule that kids need to be able to shoot and catch a basketball or else they dont have to be passed to. and he should also have to wear his gym shorts and shirt!!!!! if i forget my stuff then i loss points caus chervnek is a DICK TOUCHER!!!!!!! jason dick wheel chair fuck gets to wear his jeans and dumb button shirt every time!!!!! WHAT A DICK!!!!!!!! IT ISNT FAIR THAT HE HAS A WHEELCHAIR AND CAN GET OUT OF GYM CLOTHES AND ALSO NOT HAVE TO RUN THE MILE!!!!!

TONIGHT

2009-01-30T16:29:00.003-05:00

KMACS TONIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND I AM PROBALY TAKING MY WII AND SOME OF MY GAMES AND MAYBE 2 NUNCHUCKS. BILL COME!!!!!!. WE ARE GONNA GET FEDDERICOS AND WATCH DEVS WITH KMACS DAD. I HOPE MAYBE THAT HE GIVES ME SOME BEERS AND MAYBE WE CAN GET WILD. THE DEVS ARE PLAYNG THE GAY GAY PENGIUNS AND WE ARE GONNA DICK PUNCH SIDENY CROSBEY LIKE A TOTAL DORKZOID! MOST KIDS ARE SACRED OF A BEER BUT I AM ALWAYS READY TO DRINK ONE IF A ADULT IS SO DUMB TO GIVE ME ONE. KMACS DAD IS ALWAYS GIVIN A BEER TO TRY TO US. MY BROTHER ALEX ALWAYS TELLS ME THAT BEER IS SO GOOD BUT I AM TOO DUMB TO KNOW. BUT I THINK I KNOW AND HE ALWAYS HAS BABES SO MAYBE SOME BABES WILL COME TO ME IF I GET SOME BEER WHEN I AM OLDER. BUT STILL NOT A ADULT! THE ONLY THING I HOPE IS THAT FAT BILL DOESNT EAT ALL THE FEDERICOS AND IF HE DOES THEN WE WILL MAKE HIM PLAY WII FIT UNTIL HE LOSES 100 POUNDS OR IF HE FALLS OVER AND DIES CUZ HE IS FAT. HE WOULD TURN INTO A GHOST AND HANT KEVS HOUSE BUT PROB JUST EAT ALL THE FOOD!!!

MS. TOLLER = BITCHZONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-01-30T14:58:00.002-05:00

THERE ARE THINGS THAT I HATE!!!!!!! AND MY FANS KNOW THAT IT IS MOSTLY ADULTS!!!!!! BUT MY FANS DONT KNOW THAT I ALSO HATE TEACHERS!!!!!!!!! THEY ARE DICKS!!!!! AND BITCHES!!!!!!!!!!! AND DICK BITCH FUCK SHIT ASS PISS DICKKKKKKKKKKKS!!!!
GO PROOF READ YOUR OWN DICK!! MRS. TOLLER IS A BITCH FROM BITCHZONE CASTLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DIFERENT KIDS WRITE DIFFERENT STORIES IN DIFERNET WAYS!!!!!!! NOT ALL KIDS ARE CRAZY AWSEOME WRITERS!!!!!! SOME KIDS ARE JUST NOT GOOD AT A WRITING!!!!!!!!!!!! BUT THEY ARE GOOD AT OTHER STUFF! MAYBE THEY ARE GOOD AT GAMING OR CAN MAKE A AWESOME WEBSITE WITH TONS OF FANS OR THROW A BASEBALL 100 MILES OR EVEN BURN DOWN A WHOLE TOWN!!!!! YOU DONT NEED TO WRITE TO HAVE A JOB!!!!!!!! AT BURGER KING YOU PUSH BUTTONS AND MAKE FRIES! AND IF U PLAY BASBEALL YOU JUST NEED TO THROW AND HIT!!!!! I AM NEVER WRITING ANOTHER DUMB COMPARE PAPER AGAIn! I WILL BE A BASBALL PLAYER AND NEVER HAVE TO WRITE!!! EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DICKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

Michael Phelps story

2009-01-29T21:06:00.001-05:00

FANS, HERE IS MY DONE PAPER! THANKS! DICKSKKKKKKKKKKKKKS LOL

Jeffrey Paswick
Mrs. Toller
English 7
January 30, 2009

Michael Phelps
Michael Phelps is a world famous swimmer from Maryland and he is 23 years old. He was born in Baltimore and weighs 200lbs. He is most like a narwhal because narwhals are fast and so is Michael Phelps. In my story I will tell you about how Michael Phelps is like a narwhal and why.
Michael Phelps was born on June 30, 1985 in Baltimore, Maryland (Wikipedia). He is 6’4 feet tall and is 200 lbs. But he wasn’t that big when he was born. He is kind of like a narwhal because of that. Because narwhals are small when they are babies and then they grow big. Michael Phelps was about 2 foot tall and weighed like 30 lbs when he was born. When a narwhal is born it is 5 feet and is 175lbs (Enchanted Learning). That means that Michael Phelps is like a narwhal but not height wise and not when a narwhal is a adult.
Michael Phelps is a really good swimmer. He won swimmer of the year award 2006-2008 (Wikipedia). He can swim fast and so can a narwhal. They both like water a lot. But actually a narwhal is faster and a narwhal lives in the water. Michael Phelps lives in a house like a human. A narwhal can breathe underwater for 7 to 20 minutes (Enchanted Learning). Michael Phelps can breathe underwater for maybe 2 minutes and if he tried for 7 he would probably die because it has feelings and can be mad. When a narwhal is threatened it will ram its tusk into an other fish or a hunter/evil thing. Michael Phelps would need a sword , gun or a sharp knife to kill someone or another animal.
Michael Phelps also went to the University of Michigan for school and he even was in the Olympics in 2004 and 2008. He won eight gold medals in it. He was a college kid in Michigan and he learned about how to swim and read (Wikipedia). A narwhal cannot go to the University of Michigan because it doesn’t have ocean access. It has a big lake, but narwhals can’t read books and they can’t even fit into a classroom. Plus they would die from not being in the water.
Narwhals are very vocal creatures. As is Phelps, he spokesperson for many products; Rosetta Stone, Guitar Hero, Speedo. Narwhals are very social creatures. Phelps has been romantically linked to Carrie Underwood, Nichole Johson (2007 Miss California USA runner-up) and supermodel Lily Donaldson. The most noticeable trait about a narwhal is its long tusk. The most obvious thing about Phelps is the gold medals. The tooth is about 8 feet long. Phelps won 8 gold medals! Michael Phelps is sometimes bad and drinks beer. And then even some other times he will drink a beer and drive a car. A narwhal lives in the ocean so it can’t drive and it only will drink water (Hancock). A narwhal never drove a car and drank some beer.
There are a lot of good comparisons on Michael Phelps. In conclusion, Michael Phelps is really good and he is most like a narwhal more than anything else.

Bibliography
“Michael Phelps”. Wikipedia.com. 26 Jan 2009.
“Narwhal”. http://www.enchantedlearning.com/subjects/whales/species/Narwhal.shtml. 26 Jan 2009.
David Hancock. “Olympic Champ Sentenced For DUI“.
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2004/11/08/national/main654380.shtml. 26 Jan 2009.

quincy

2009-01-28T15:13:00.001-05:00

once upon a time there was a magical iguana named quincy and he was a reptile and he worked at sears. he had scales and also had green skin. quincy was like almost all iguanas but one thing was different. and that thing was that he liked to fuck human women. this sounds like a fake thing but it is not. quincy had a best friend who is named chester who is a rhino and is also a magician. quincy and chester would always go out to there friends houses and drink some beers. one night after quincy drank 2 beers he almost died and then he saw chesters sister who is a cat and is named pam. quincy tried to make a fuck with pam but he was hurt real bad. he didnt know that pam was actually wering a mask and she really is a cactus. quincy got cactus prickers in his dick and one was even up his dick hole. LOL quincy was better in a day after he met a dick doctor named dr.boner to patch his dick with some glue.
most iguanas dont have a dick. but quincy had 1. after he fucked pam the cat who was actualy a cactus he said he never would fuck a plant or a cactus again. and then he only fucked human women. the next day he went to tj maxx and saw 40 babes to fuck. he played the piano for 2 days straight and all these babes came around to see his dick. after 2 more days he stopped playing and then told everyone to be quite. everyone was quite and then he said it was hard to pick a babe to sex so he said he would let chester pick 1. chester picked a human woman named wendy. and then quincy had a fuck with her. the next day chester and quincy died. but not from oldness. they died caus they comitted suicide.

Michael Phelps Story

2009-01-27T15:02:00.001-05:00

i had to write a story about michael phelps and compare him to something for english. the paper is due to turn in on friday. fans! leave some help!

fans

2009-01-13T19:17:00.000-05:00

I just want to give some props to my fans. here are some fan mails:

Anonymous said...

woody's are fuckin sweeeeeet

January 9, 2009 5:15 PM

THANKS MAN! BUT I AM NOT A FAGET! BUT THANKS FOR BEING A FAN! :)

Anonymous said...

fuck you!

January 6, 2009 9:42 AM

YOU ARE A DORKZOID! AND A DICKK! AND A TOTAL FUCK! AND A DICKKKKKKKKKK!

Bri said...

jeff are u allowed to come tonight?????? txt me or call

December 31, 2008 8:39 PM

SORRY BRI, I DIDNT SEE THESE FAN MESSAGE TILL TODAY. I THINK I WAS BUSY

EMAIL FROM A FAN:

----- Reply ----

From: JEFFREY PASWICK <jeffreypaswick@yahoo.com>
To: Leslie Fezchern <lfezmom1972@roadrunner.net>
Sent: Monday, January 12, 2008 4:31:15 PM
Subject: Re: Jesus Loves You

LESLIE! THANKS FOR BEING A FAN! BUT I THINK U ARE A ADULT AND THAT MEANS YOU ARE A DICKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK! MY WEBSITE IS COOL AND I HAVE TONS OF FANS AND DONT READ MY WEBSITE IF YOU HATE IT. YOU PROLY DONT UNDERSTAND IT CAUS YOU ARE A ADULT! TRY BEING A KID!
I HATE WHEN ADULTS TELL ME MY SITE IS BAD BUT I LOVE WHEN ADULTS GET STRUCK BY LIGHTING!!!!!!!!!!!!! DORKZOID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

----- Original Message ----

From: Leslie Fezchern <lfezmom1972@roadrunner.net>
To: Jeffrey Paswick <jeffreypaswick@yahoo.com>
Sent: Monday, January 12, 2008 9:18:17 AM
Subject: Jesus Loves You

Jeffrey or whoever writes this blog,
It saddens me to know that our world has come this far. I came across your blog today and I was completely astounded at the content. I really hope that you are not a 12 year old boy from New Jersey. Hopefully you are a much older warped person who has simply gone down the wrong path in your life. I can only pray that you will come to find your true purpose in life.

Keeping you in my prayers,

Leslie Fezchern

"For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God"
- Romans 3:23

good cereal

2009-01-13T15:29:00.000-05:00

hey dickkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkks
i like to eat cereal but i hate when adults give me shit to eat cereal!
tracey schleirn is a bitch adult and she always gives me shit cereal!

these are my favs for cereal:

captin crunch - i like capntin crunch and its good to eat
trix - good to eat and most adults are dicks and think its good for you caus the fruits!!!!!!!! DICKKS!

corn pops - these are good! and they look like a piss shit rock!

i also like to eat shock tarts and i also like to eat runts. it could trick a adult too caus it looks like real fruit but in baby size.

my not real mom named tracey schleirn buys me good for me cereal. this cereal is such dickkkkkk! she buys me good health cereal but she looks like a narwhal that just ate brian izzo!!!! LOL! THESE ARE THE SHIT THAT TRACEY TRYS TO MAKE ME EAT:

KIX - I HATE THEM! THEY HAVE NO COLOR OR CANDY. KIX is a SECRET ADULT CREAEAL!!!

MINI WHEETS - THESE WHEETS ARE FUCK!!! LOL THIS IS ANOTHER ADULT CEREAL!

OATMEAL - DICKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
my dad peter eats this bear shit!!! he is such a total dickkkkkkkk but my step mom tracey schleirn is even more of a bitch! she has all kinds of dumb ass fruits and dumb juice and she evens eats a huge mountain of adult shit everyday! one time tracey schelirn pooped so huge and it stunk up the downstairs and me and kmac were so grossed. after that we thought about making fun of her. but then we saw derrick and ellectracutted him. we took a knife and put it into his dumb baby hand and then we pushed him into the wall and the knife went in the power plug! LOL! he shot back 400 feet and broke the bath room door. he dived into tracey schelirns shit!!!! but he lived! tracey sat up and the knife flew right into her belly!!! LOL! KILLSHOT!!!!!
tracey schleirn cried and looked at me sad. i did a fake sad face and told her i would call the cops to help. i took out my razr and called. HAHA! but i didnt call the cops! i called the robbers!!!!!! then i left the house!! 20 minutes after then the robbers came and stole all traceys schelierns stuff and heathers and some of my dads. they also stoled derrick and made him into a baby doll for a little kid. and they also took a ninja sword and carved the word 'BOOBS' into tracey schleirns boobs! but it didnt hurt her caus she was already dead.

i was ok caus i took their money and built a house made out of lava. and no one could get to me. i also took my wii and some of my games. and my cds and my bed. it was a good day but not the best one. i also gave some money to poor kids so they can get a wii and i also boght some babes for me.

first woodys

2009-01-06T15:58:00.000-05:00

in math i was thinking about emily osments boobs and then that made me get a woody. then i thought about woodys. ONLY MY WOODY THOUGH! YOU DICKKKK! i wonder who the first kid ever to make a woody was. it was probaly a kid england caus they came here first. or maybe it was a indian from cleveland who was in the US before pilgrims came to the US. prob a kid saw polcahantas and got a woody and then maybe that is why indians always wear blanket underwear to cover there woodys. LOL DICKSSSSSS! that is probaly what happened. the indian was named bryan.
my first woody was cool too. i think i was a baby kind of. i dont remember it alot but i know i had a woody in 1st grade with stephanie caston. most kids prob dont even kno what was going on if they got a woody hten. but i knew. i dont think she knew caus i covered it with tyler valents folder. LOL! most kids wouldnt even kno to do that! i did!
after that time i got alot of woodys until i was 11 and then i got even more. i think kmac gets like 30 woodys a day but i always get 40. i think that alot of adults dont get woodys caus adults almost never sit down to hide them. my dad peter cuts our grass and washs the car and he runs around our track and he is always walking around or just being a dickkk standing. kids always sit down so there woodys are hided good. we eat our food and sleep and sit in school and play wii (unless you play wii sports).
stephanie caston is still hottt but she didnt make our hott list. she used to be not fat but now she is almost fat. i never get woodys around her now.

fox news - adventures of J and kmac 2

2009-01-05T17:11:00.000-05:00

j and kmac saw george bush and he was getting ready to run them over with a chain saw car. j was smart and grabbed a kid (aiden daniels). aiden was crying like a little baby, but kmac punched him in the head with a knife and told him to shut up! george bush came at them fast. but j was ready and took aiden daniels and threw him into the saw. the saw got stuck and was broke by aiden's gay glasses. WHAT A FAGOT!!!
GEORGE BUSH was mad and he got out of his car. then he started to wrestle with j and kmac. aiden daniels was dead. kmac took out some jars of penut butter and jelly and threw them at george bush's dick and then j took out a knife in the shape of a dick and threw it into gerge bushs ass. bush was crying and he was hurt and his dick was really hurt bad. his ass was bloody too.
then he told j and kmac that he would free the kids if they let him go. kmac said that is a good plan and j said ok. bush signed a tax that freeed all the kids in the US. KMAC was happy but J wanted to be more happy. just then j looked at bushs pants and they were a gay fagot kind that J hated! ADULT PANTS!!! NO CARGO PANTS AND NOT BAGGEY KID KIND!!!! he whirled around and stuck a partical greenade into bushs mouth. then J said 'FUCK YOU OLD MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'
j and kmac ran and ran and then it happened. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! bush exploded and his head was gone and he was finaly dead. THE KIDS WERE FREE!!!! ADULTS ARE DUMB!!!!!!!!

2009!

2009-01-01T00:02:00.000-05:00

hey fans. it is 2009 now! all my posts from now will have a 2009 instead of 2008. LOL!

fox news - adventures of J and kmac

2008-12-31T21:51:00.000-05:00

J was happy he blew up new jersey and murdered vin diesel but a giant enemy was still on earth. ADULTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! J hated adults alot and he knew that he should probaly kill most of them or at least ground thme. he also knew that adults are strong and they most are not dumb. but J is not dumb either.
he flew down to the north pole and then blew his whisel and a pack of narwhals came swimming up to him. J opened up his wii watch and messaged kmacs mii to come help.
just then a big lightning bolt came and it was kmac. he flew there on a electric dick.
we have to make a stop at my home so come with me! j jumped on a narwal and then flew to florida. there were babes everywhere and kmac had a woody. so did j and most of the girls were coming to j but some came to kmac.
j and kmac were on the beach with babes and having beer and food and fun and they did have sex. not with each other! dickkkK! with babes! :) j and kmac were tired but they were ready and went to free all the kids. kmac was like 'which adult should we dick punch or kill?'
it was tough to kno caus there were alot of adults. j was smart and he knew they had to murder a newsman first caus adults watch news and kids dont. they got a knife and made a adult drive them to new york so they could stab a newsman. kmac was scacred a little but j was so ready. he listeneed to nickelback and fall out boy while the adult drove them.
after like 2 months they got to new york and kmac said thanks to the adult for driving them. his name was jim. but j didnt even care caus he whirled around and threw a turtle shell filled with TNT into jims mouth. jim exploded and the car and then jim was a dead man.
they went into fox news and were disguysed as adults. kmac was wearing a nice suit and j had on a beard with some dumb pants. and a shirt too. j was suprised caus the adults were dumb and let them right in to the news.
j was smart and he knew what adults had fear of. he went on the tv and said this stuff 'adults a crook is stealing all the kids and he already stole them and took them to spain. so u should leave the USA and go there and find ur kids. this is real!! and the devils are the best team!' the newsman knew it was fake but he couldnt stop j and j broke the camera before they could say it was a kid saying the news. kmac threw a flash bang gernade into the news room and everyone was blind like a bat.
that was what j and kmac needed and they ran out the news. when they got to the street it was dead quite. there were no adults! 'they must have left' says kmac. then all the sudden they here a big roarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. and they see 40 milion kids on harley davisons flying down the street! WE ARE FREE!!! THE KIDS ARE GOING WILD! everyone is happy and doing cool stuff. 4 kids find a adult hiding in a mailbox and start to stab him with swords. then a strong kid picks the adult up and throws him into a toys r us. all the kids run into the store and start geting ps3 and gba and wii. NO ONE CAN STOP THE KIDS! all the kids are laughing and having a party.
then all the sudden a jet car with a chainsaw on it comes flying down the street and saws 80 kids in half and cuts like 12 kids into more than half. j and kmac see that it is there enemy and it is the worst adult ever! it is georgge bush!!!!! all the kids feel fear and go to hide in a fort that they made out of wood. j and kmac just stand and look at george bush. they will fight!
TO BE CONTINEUD..........

how to know if a kid is actualy a adult

2008-12-31T11:12:00.000-05:00

many kids are cool and have cool websites. but some kids are fucks or woodys or sluts or EVEN ADULTS!!!!! not every kid is a adult but every adult is a dorkzoid or fuck. D.P. is alot of those. here are some that devin price is - dorkzoid, fuck, woody and a dick and fagget and a ADULT! i need to show you fans how to know if you see a adult or if u see a kid
1 adults are old and you need to look for a ugly face. but some kids are ugly (amy greir) so u have to look at other stuff. most kids look like kids.
2 adults have beards. most adults have them. alot of kids dont have a beard except on haloween sometimes.
3 scream FUCKKKKKK and if they yell at you then they are a adult. if it is a kid they will probaly scream FUCKKKK back.
4 adults useally drive cars or trucks. they can fly planes too. some kids can do this. kids dont need to drive caus they have bikes or they are not dumb and just have there parent drive.
5 ask them to play wii and if they say NO then they are a adult or a dumb fuck! griffin holloway. LOL
6 if they say yes to play wii then ask them what there mii looks like. if they kno what a mii is then they are probaly a kid
7 ask if they want some shock tarts. a adult will not know what it is and might think it is lighting.
8 if they have a kid then they are a adult but sometimes kids have kids like mark staier's sister who is kind of fat. LOL

most kids should kno these but some kids are dumb and some kids are actualy retarded and might not kno. the best thing is to just dont talk to adults or smile at them. the only way you should smile at an adult is if u just killed there girl or if you are about to blow up there kitchen.

derrick sing

2008-12-30T12:33:00.000-05:00

fans derrick is still dumb. he got kids bop 14 for chsimas and always wants to watch it downstairs. it is sooo stupid like him. its plays over and over and i get alot of rage about it. i had to make a site post about it.

once upon a time there was a stupid fucking baby named derrick. he lived in new jersey with his fag dad and bitchzone step-mom and dick toucher sister and his awesome and cool brother named J. derrick was born with a wierd head so he is dumb caus of that. he just sits in his chair and stares at stuff and he sometimes smiles at dumb stuff. he is soo dumb that he has to eat mashed food!! one day derrick got a dvd called kids bop 14 and he tried to sing the songs. he couldnt sing the songs caus he is a dumb fucker and he just made noices.
every person in the house was annoyed by kids bops and hated it but derrick loved it. one day the family was having a cool fire in the fireplace. then the doorbell rang and they went to see it. all of the suden the door was kicked down and vin diesel just started shooting everyone in the house. the dad got hit with a arrow in the eye and he fell into a pool of hungry bears that ate his whole head and then his arm and then he died. the stupid step mom try to drive away in her dumb car but she was so dumb that she forgot the car had 50 tigers in the back and they all scratched at her and then killed her. the daughter was even dumber caus she tried to jump out the window but vin diesel just laughed caus he put a special force field on the window and when she jumped in it time warped her to the sun. she thought she would be safe but that is how dumb she is caus her entire head caught on fire and burned and she died after maybe 1 hour. the only peeps alive were just kids. J and derrick were alive. vin diesel laughed and throwed a boomarang ninja sword at J but J was ready and he caught it with his bear hand. J was smiling and he told vin diesel that it was a good try. vin diesel then took out his gun but he only had one bullet and he was like i can kill you J or i can kill derrick and i will let you be the chooser caus you showed me that you are a good fighter and a cool kid. right then J smiled and jumped up and stole vin diesels gun. and before J even hit hte ground he shot derrick right in the shulder. his arm exploded and one of the tiny little chunks hit vin diesel in his eye. vin cried a little and was really suprised at J. then J snapped his fingers and the whole house blew up. vin was dead after a second and the whole house burneded. it seemed like J was dead. a firefighter who was named dan lifted up a peice of rock and found a note. it said
whoever reads this will be murdered!!!!!!!!!!
dan started to laugh and then the whole state exploded!!!!!!!!!! DICKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
J was laughing hard from his secret space ship above earth. and he was totally good caus the whole time he used a hallagram to pretend he was a regular kid. he was actually a robot kid.

grounded

2008-12-30T10:57:00.000-05:00

if u are my friend then u know that my dad named peter and my step mom named tracey schleirn grounded since june. and u know that they are total dorkzoids! if u are a fan then u didnt know. but u probaly know that i was in bitchzone!!!! i mostly played SMSB and COD on my wii caus Tracey is a dick puncher and didnt let me go to KMACS.
kids shouldnt be grounded and i think it should be illegal to ground a kid. if a kid does something that is bad that kid should pick a bad thing to happen to him. kids should chose. and not a adult. i have a cool website with 1000000000000000 fans and then some adult and kid trader turn me in. the kid trader is devin price and he is not my friend. actualy i hate him. i wish i would get a ninja swoord for chrismas and then i would sell it to a gun man and get a cool gun. then i would take the gun and put a grenade on it and give it to devin. merry chrismas dick!
i wish that my dad was cool and work as a rocket gun maker. and he could give me some rocket guns. i would kid nap gorge bush and then make all the adults free there kids. i would let kids run around and never do homework.
if someone gives me a rocket gun here is what i would do
1 free all the kids
2 make candy free and pizza
3 free gum
4 everyone that is not a adult gets wii or if they want a ps3
5 adults can either act like a kid or if they dont they will get grounded and put in a jail
6 lit all the vegtables on fire
7 burn schools
8 free twix
9 kids can drink beer like me and sometimes they can drive cars. i will keep some adults that will fly a plane and work in the wii factory

hello dicksssssssssssssssssss

2008-12-29T14:33:00.000-05:00

hey dicks! it is time! i am fianlly in my blog and writing a blog post. my friends know i was gone but my fans prob think i just was being a DICK! i wasnt being a dick!!!!! MY DAD AND TRACEY SCHLEIRN WERE BEING TOTAL DICKKKKSS!
and WOODYS!
but my blog is here and i am now allowed on my computer.
sorry i was gone so long and it took me alot of time to get a post to kmac so he could post it for me.

most of the past time i have been playing wii and sometimes just having mii chats with friends i didnt see alot. i wish i was the dad and my dad was a son that was mine. the first thing i would do is ground him for a 100 years. next i would either break up with or murder tracey schleirn. then i would send heather to a bitch scool in africa and i would make derrick my vice presadent. if i was my dad i would have his bank so i would have alot of money. i would get it all and then buy more wii games, a pool, a rocket car, 10 babes and 2 narwhals to put in my pool. i would drive my dad's car to his job and i would go to bussiness meetings and make everyone play wii instead. i would also pick up babes in my car and try to have fun with them or maybe have some sex togetther. this would be my life and i would be a cool dad and not a DICK FAG DICK PUNCHER GAY FUCK ASS DICK MONKEY TIT SHIT DAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DICKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

jeff is coming cus its over now!!!!!!!!!!

2008-12-20T17:18:00.000-05:00

jp notes for fans!!
-kmac
11+22

derek jeter is not a dorkzoid!

2008-06-26T18:49:00.000-04:00

hey fans i am not ending my blog! no adults can stop me and i am allouded to talk about anything in the world! even if dickkkkks try to stop me but they wont! fans u need to know that its not only the devs that i like but u know i like the yanks and i like derek jeter. if u are dumb u dont know that derek jeter plays short stop and he is nubmer 2 and he is white/black/taco bell. people at school who say i dont know him are dorkzoids. i dont know him like on wii or something but i met him at the grove mall after christmas and he signed a baseball for me. peter took me and i got his sign on the ball and he asked me how i am doing and i was gonna say something funny but i didnt think of a funny thing to say and then i just kind of made a noise. it was dumb but i still met him and he said something to me. most of you are too poor or dumb to met derek jeter. if i met him now i would be readyy to talk to him and make him laugh just like the fans on my site. i would like hey man i like ur balls or say something like hey david do u like my site? or i might ask him who are the dorkzoids on the team or maybe i would just tell him that i wish he fucked my mom to make me so i would have a cool dad and not a dumb dad that works at chase bank being a dick. plus i bet derek jeter wouldnt marry a mom who would dye when she birth a kid! last night me and kmac watched my #1 derek jeter and kmac loves arod but i think he is my #2. he hits good now but he has a taco bell name but looks like a michael jordan kind of guy. we didnt get to drink any beers last night because we were at my crib and not kmacs. kmacs dad will some times let us drink a beer when we watch sports with him. he is a mets fan. he says its what real guys will do and some day when i can i will prob drink 2 or 3 beers in one hour. i have been drunk prolly about 6 times but i only threw up 3 times. the most beers i drank ever were 2 beers in one night. i was sooooooooooo sick and really drunk and threw up in my room on the floor. everytime i get really drunk i always try to have sex but no girls are ever around and its just me and kmac. david wirght is a faget.

p.s. fans i dont know where tracey and my dad are but no peeps came home yet.............. i will prolly delete the blog when i hear them come home. thanks 4 the luv fans.

DEVIN AND CHEYRL PRICE!!!!!!!!

2008-06-26T16:19:00.000-04:00

SOME PEOPLE ARE TOTAL DICKKKKKKKKS BUT OTHER PEOPLE ARE JUST ASS SHIT BITCH FUCK DICK WOODY DORKZOIDS FUCK MONKEY DICKKKKKKKKKKKKSSSSSSS! DEVIN PRICE IS THAT. AND SO IS HIS MOM NAMED CHEYRL. THESE PEEPS TOLD ON ME LIKE A LITTLE KID. DEVIN! U R THE SAME AGE AS ME AND IN MY CLASS! I DRINK BEER AND I AM A TEENEGER ALMOST!!! U SHOULD ACT LIKE ONE 2!!!!!!! U DICKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK! THANKS TO U AND UR SLUT MOM CHEYRL FOR ENDING MY COOL WEBSITE!!! ALL MY FANS HAVE BEEN SENDING ME MESSAGES TODAY AND TELLING ME TO KEEP MY SITE BUT I PROLLY CANT CUZ UR MOM IS A SLUT AND U R A DORKZOID! U R A DICK DORKZOID!!!!!!!!! I LOVE WHEN MY WEBSITE HAS NO ADULTS BUT WHEN IT HAS ADULTS I HATE ADULTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I SWEAR RIGHT NOW THAT I WILL NEVER BE A ADULT AND I WILL ALWAYS BE A KID OR A TEENAGER OR 21 AND THAT IS IT!!!!!!!! THE MOST AGE I WILL EVER BE IS 21!!!!!!!!!!!!! IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII HOPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEE UUUUUUUUUUUU RRRRRRRRRRRRRRR READDYYYYYYYYYYYYY TOOOOOOOOOO GETTTTTTTTTTTTTTT DICKKKKKKK PUNCHEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD DEVINNNNNNNNNNNN ANDDDDDD IFFFFFFFFFFFF URRRRRRRRR MOMMMMMMMMMMMM HASSSSSSSSSSSS AAA DICKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK ITTTTTTTTTTTTTT WILLLLLLLLLLLLLLL GETTTTTTTTTTTT PUNCHEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD TO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ALL MY POSTS ARE JOKES!

2008-06-26T13:22:00.000-04:00

hey fans and adults all my posts ever were jokes and they are not true. my family is really nice and everyone is loved by me. my house is cool and i don't hate my step-mom tracey at all she is really nice and just like my real mom who is dead.

FANS! HELP OUT!

2008-06-26T12:59:00.000-04:00

i dont know if i should delete my site! some fans said i might be in for shit from my dickkkkkkkks! vote on my vote thing and help! i might be able to e-mail kmac my posts and he could add them to my site so my dick adults dddont know! y is a yes and n is a no.

dan -thanks for ur email but i dont know what to do!!!!!

ADULTS = DORKZOIDS/FUCKEERRS!

2008-06-26T11:16:00.000-04:00

WHY DID GOD EVER EVEN MAKE ADULTS!??!?!? I DONT GET IT! HE SHOULD HAVE JUST MADE KIDS AND THEN STOPPED WITH THAT! THANKS A LOT!!!!!!!!!! DICKZOIDS ALWAYS MESS UP MY STUFF WHEN I TRY TO START DOING GOOD. MY MOST HATED THING IS WHEN SOMEONE STOPS A KID FROM MAKING A GOOD WEBSITE BECAUSE IT TELLS THE TRUH ABOUT ADULTSS AND HOW FAT AND LAZY THEY ARE AND HOW THEY NEVER LET KIDS DO FUN STUFF OR PLAY WII BEFORE HOMEWORK IS DONE. MOST HOMEWORK IS NOT EVEN NEEDEED AND ALOT OF KIDS CAN JUST USE THEIR BRAIN ADN KNOW THE STUFF!!!!!!!! IF I HAD A JET I WOULD SELL IT AND BUY A ROCKET PACK AND THEN FLY TO CHINA WERE NO ADULTS LIVE AND I WOLD JUST LIVE THERE AND NEVER GET TOLD WHAT TO DO!! I HATE WHEN BITCHZONE IS AT MY HOUSE AND I DONT LIKE PEOPLE TATETL TELLING ON ME! Cheryl Price AND DEVIN CAN SUCK MY WOODY AND IF I SEE DEVIN WALKING OR EVEN TALKING OR BREATHING NEAR MY ZONE I AM GOING TO SHOVE A SWORD RIGHT INTO HIS LITTLE STOMAG! DICKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKSSS!

----- Forwarded Message ----
From: Tracey Schleirn-Paswick <tcscleirn@yahoo.com>
To: Pete <ppaswick@chasefinancial.com>
Cc: Jeffrey <jeffreypaswick@yahoo.com>
Sent: Thursday, June 26, 2008 9:58:42 AM
Subject: Fw:Re:Jeffrey

JEFFREY - You are not going anywhere tonight or for a long time. I read some of the entries that you have on there and I thought we agreed that you were to clear everything with your father and me? Some of the things you wrote were so hurtful. We will be having a talk tonight.

----- Reply ----
From: Tracey Schleirn-Paswick <tcschleirn@yahoo.com>
To: Cheryl Price <clprice@verizon.net>
Sent: Thursday, June 26, 2008 9:34:33 AM
Subject: Re:Jeffrey

Cheryl,
Thank you for the e-mail I do appreciate it. I am so troubled by his actions lately, and its really tough when the other kids are doing so well. It looks like tonight will be a long night....
Thank you,
Tracey

----- Original Message ----
From: Cheryl Price <clprice@verizon.net>
To: Tracey Schleirn-Paswick <tcschleirn@yahoo.com>
Sent: Thursday, June 26, 2008 9:18:17 AM
Subject: Jeffrey

Hi Trace,
Last night I caught Devin reading some inappropriate material on the internet, and after looking more at the website, it seems like it was written by your son Jeffrey. The site is http://jeffreypaswick.blogspot.com/ and I am sure you are not aware of it, because there are entries as recent as three o'clock this morning. He seems pretty warped and I was absolutely shocked at what he has written. I'm sorry to be the bearer of this news, but I know that if it was Devin I would want to know.

Cheryl

emily osment

2008-06-25T18:10:00.000-04:00

tonight i saw emily osment on the suite life of zack and cody and i got a woody. babes are cool and i mostly get a woody from them. tm i am making a top list of hot babes that i would have sex with or fuck FOR FREE!!!!!!

funny ass baby

2008-06-25T16:17:00.000-04:00

here is a cool vid kmac found of a baby doing a monkey dance:

me and kmac wanna film some cool vids with derrick and we have tons of time to do it caus tracey and my dad are not home in the summer and heather watches us. but she just sluts 247 and we will film cool shit with derrick. kmac wants to try to make a bungey jump for derrick and throw him off our roof but we need to wait till tracey buys more lettece so we ahve enough rubber bands.

dickheads

2008-06-25T10:20:00.000-04:00

antony s and christan dickhead are fucks!!!!!!!!!! if you are medal of honor inflitraton with someone u dont keep killing them on a spawn YOU DICKS!!!!!!!!!!!\! WHEN U ARE ON A SAME TEAM YOU TURN OFF A FRIENDLY FIRE WHEN U HOST AND U DONT THROW PINEAPPLE GERNADES INTO YOUR BASE!!!!!!!
CHRISTIAN - -- AS FOR U U ARE A FUCKING IDIOT AND I AM MOSTLY GLAD THAT YOUR GRANDMAM IS DEAD LIKE U ARE GOING TO BE IN THE NEXT DEATHMATCH! TAKE YOUR FAGET SPRINGFELD AND FIRE IT INTO YOUR DICK HOLE!
ANTHONY - EVEN THOGU H U DONT USUALLY LOOK LIKE IT U ARE LIKE A BLAKC NINJA IN THE PICTURE!! U LOOK LIKE GERARD KINNEY U FUCK DICK! IF YOU DICKS WANT TO SHOOT ME THEN THAT IS OK BUT WE NEED TO START A ROOM WITH A DEATHMATCH AND HAVE KMAC ON MY SIDE. AND WE ARE THE ALLIES! THIS TIME USE THE CITY MAP AND NOT THE PORT BASE U DORKZOID DICKS!!!!! christan - YOUR MII IS FUCKING GAY!

pica

2008-06-25T03:42:00.000-04:00

one day a baby named patrick elias was born. he came out of his mom wearing some fast ice skates and he cut her open and she died then. patrick had his dad raise him and his dad was called penis elias. penis taught patrick elias everything he knew about being cool and sex. patrick elias liked having sex but he also liked to play hockey. so he most of the time played that. one day penis took him on a fish trip into the ocean and they were fishing for some sharks and cool stuff. penis caught a small motuh bass and was jumping around. patrick elias didnt catch anything and he was so fucking mad. he took out a harpon gun and shot penis right in the head. the arrow was poisionis to and penis died 2 days later. patrick elias wrapped penis in a devils blanket and dumped him inot the ocean. penis was dead. all the sudden a baby narwhal named pica floated up by patrick elias. pica asked patrick how old he was and some other shit. then they were friends and patrick elias rode a narwhal all the way to china. when he was there he taught all the china people to not play karate and to play hockey and to not have weird eyes but to have some normal eyes like humans. every china person loved patrick elias and pica and they all had sex together and everyone was smiling like the sun. then on a sad day pica got ated by a few bears that swam into the lagoon were pica was sleeping. patrick elias woke up late but he killed some bears but the bears ate picas brain first so he was dead. patrick elias was so sad that he took a gun and shot himself in the face. he died in 5 days.

heather lynn paswick

2008-06-20T15:32:00.000-04:00

hi fans so i chose to right about heather for my site and talk about how she is a bitch slut. heather is my sister and is related to me but tracy schleirn is not her mom either. only derrick came out of her vagina my real good mom died when i was born. i dont remember her though. heather didnt kill her and she has brown hair but usually it looks ugly. she smokes too and she thinks she is hot. her boobs are ok and i saw them before caus she was having sex with eric tessler in my room. my dad killed him and we buried him at manson park under 2nd base, but jason r found him. LOL.
these are things that makes heather a slut and a bitch
1 she had sex with eric tessler in my room
2 she hates wii
3 she doesnt play video games
4 i saw her boobs but i didnt like them
5 she smokes
6 triffy told me that r.t. had sex with her too
7 she tells me i am a faget but i dont like dicks and she does
8 she is a faget
9 she waers slut cloths and shit
10 she should be a senoir
the best thing that makes her a bitch is a story from before. last year we went to my aunt joe annes in wickatunk and i was swimming with our cosusins but heather was not. she was just sitting by the pool in a black shirt and black pants. she was a goth kid then and tracey schleirn said jesus didnt love her. jesus loves her now cuz she doesnt put eye make up on her lips. she was just sitting on the side of the pool like a dorkzoid why i was swim around and playing. i told my uncle john that she was being a bitch faget and we should throw her in. so he ran up and pushd her into the pool. she was swearing at him and real loud and she was walking out of the pool. that is when i saw it and it was sick. there was sick red bleeding blood coming all out of her dick area/vagina. it was like all over the place and coming right at me. deardra is my cousin and she is 5 and she was in a little raft thing and was a dumb kid so she couldnt get away. she was all in blood and shit. heather was crying and i was so afrid of the blood and shit. the whole water was red and everyone in our family was laughing so hard. heather was going to kill herself and she said it. all these seagulls came to the pool and they dove in the blood and were like drinking it. eveyone was throwing up hard. i never saw heather have a period again in my whole life. my dad peter said she just had a cut on her leg. my dad is fucking liar!!!!!!!!!!!!! every 2 weeks a girls vagina will bleed and you can learn it in a health class or from a doctor. i am a kid but not a baby or a faget.

jason

2008-06-19T20:32:00.000-04:00

one day a cool kid named jason was born. he was a cool kid and he was born with a full beard when he came out of his mom's vagina. when he was little all the kids were amezed by his cool beard and he just let it grow. kids would give him like some mony or maybe some skittles or cool candy and he would let them touch it. girls would love his beard and always wanna touch his dick. he was awesome. one day all the kids were old too and they had a beard like it. kids didnt think he was cool now and girls didnt touch his dick every second. jason was so fucking mad at the dorkzoids and he shaved his beard and all his head hair. he took all the hair and got some glue and glued it to his dick. this gave him a fur dick. the next day he went to mcdonlds were he was a boss and took his pants off and everyone looked at his fur dick. kids liked him and girls were trying to touch it to see what was up with it. he was smilng and everyone was clapping about it. after that no one tried to beat him at hair stuff or wii games.

chocolate penut butter pops

2008-06-18T15:47:00.000-04:00

my step mom tracey schleirn is proly the most bitch girl ever but today she is only a slut. she bought some chocolate penut butter pops for me and i had them for brekfast. they are so taste good. i ate em before school and then i am eating some right now. peter isnt home yet so i put some hersheys on them too with no milk to add some good taste to them. i am eating them.
i hate when adults buy dumb cereal that is good for kids. they just dont think about it. kids are only kids for a little bit and adutls should let us just be kids. they are lucky we are around. some kids are soo dumb and fall into pools and cant swim. dorkzoids! then they try to breathe under the water and die like a piece of shit. and some other ass heads get hit by cars since there parents bought a house close to a street. other kids get killed by like a animal when it attacks them like if a tiger would just rip a kid's dick off or if a little kid fell into a great white shark cage. LOL. what dumb people. i bet there parents wish they would have just let them be kids and eat cool cerels and candy and all kinds of good candy bars and shock tarts.

fan talk

2008-06-18T15:38:00.000-04:00

here are some fan messages from yesterday

Anonymous said...

aiden daniels needs his pubes dipped in gasoline and set on fire. what a raging homo

June 17, 2008 6:15 PM

KMAC said...

AIDEN IS A FAG FOR SURE AND HE NEEDS TO GET IN A FIGHT WITH US! KMAC AND JPAS! 11 + 22 !

June 18, 2008 9:50 AM

who the person that sent the first comment is is a funny kid. prolly u though KMAC.
22+11!

and there are ones from before too.......................

Dan said...

congrats on your blogger award from we bleed teal!

June 13, 2008 5:21 PM

Dan - i dont know what u mean but thanks for ur fan talk message to me. i like my fans and peopl to see my site. but not adults!

aiden daniels

2008-06-17T15:33:00.000-04:00

u guys know aiden needs to get dick punched. i hate when kids tell on kids. most kids know that parents are the bad guys and that kids should help kids. aiden daniels is not a kid. he is a faget. most of all the kids iin school know it cuz everyone saw it today.
i was in the bathrrom and kev too for lunch. i had to piss so i took open my pants and just started. then kev was pissing by me in the toilet and i was standing outside in the urenal. then i see some yellow pee coming at my shoe like a river. HA. kev was peeing on the floor and was luaghing like jason when mrs. bedoix caught him last friday. but kevs pee was going everywhere so i started to pee on hte wall to join into the time. my pee was going right down the wall and on hte floor. then i knew how cool it would be to do a sink piss. so i kind of slide over to the sink and started to finish my pee in it. then aiden daniels comes into the bathrrom looking like a gay kid with a gay face and dumb brown shorts on. he sees all the pee through his gay glasses and just yells for mr. neemer who is at lunch period today. aiden didnt even ask us if we did he just saw pee and kev and then me standing at the sink with my shorts down. what a faget. so then neemer is all mad and was in bitchzone. i didnt even hear it though cuz i just thought about how many times i will kill aiden for being sooooo gay. i hope aidens dad gets shot by a rocket and then aiden go to the hospital and visits him and then the whole hospital turns into a giant lion and murders his dad. then aiden is crying and then a fat man just laughs and then bites off aidens head and eats it whole. that is what i want. its the last week of school and aiden is doing this stuff to us. kevs parents are mad and my dad and tracey schleirn are in total bitchzone. if my wii is taken away for the summer then aiden daniels is gonna get his whole dick punched and his soul will be fed to a bobcat. i am so sick of tattlers and dicks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

shut up bitch!!!

2008-06-03T20:43:00.000-04:00

tracey schleirn is my step mom but she is more like a step bitch that you wish would fall off a tall cliff. LOL tonight she was yelling at me cuz i didnt feel like taking a bath! its not a big deal if i dont take one every second! people dont need to take a bath every single day!! i took one on monday night and then went to school and didnt even move around or play outside. i didnt have gym or anything! my most hated thing in the world is when you take a bath and dont do anything and then people will tell you to take one the next day or the day after!!! i hate when people do that! i also hate when people always ask me about how i am doing. like my aunts and stuff will ask how my school is and how i am doing. IF YOU WANNA KNOW HOW MY SCHOOL IS CALL MY PRINCIPLE AND ASK HIM YOURSEFL BITCH! AND IF YOU WANNA KNOW HOW I AM DOING DONT ASK ME JUST LOOK AT ME AND THEN TRY TO THINK HOW I AM DOING! people just need to know that baths are not that important and you shouldnt make someone take a bath. its like being a slave. its like the civil war wen black people were made to work in coal mines and stuff and abraham lincholn made them work in fields and whipped them. that is what having someone tell u to take a bath is like! so if u are reading this and someone tells u to take a bath u should tell them this - ur not even my real mom and i didnt even have gym today so suck an egg!

boston market

2008-05-29T21:20:00.000-04:00

tonight we went to boston market. my dad peter and his wife tracey schleirn went and so did heather and derrick. but derrick is a baby so he sat in a high kid chair. derrick is proly the dumbest baby ever. we all some of that corn bread but derrick cant cuz he doesnt even know how to chew stuff without chooking and proly dying. it would be a funny thing to feed him some jolly ranchers or maybe some cool gobstopers. LOL
i ate soooo much chicken tonight and i was also drinking a lot of dr peper cuz its my fav. i was just eating my food and eating mac and cheese and then trever harrel came inot boston market with his dumb dad and wierd looking mom. trever is in my home class room and he is all into motorcycles and all kinds of gay stuff. he has no gb advance and no wii and he proly doesnt even know what a nunchuk is. LOL his dad is the same but his mom is different cuz she is like from mexico or like a taco place. trever rides dirtbikes all the time and says it is cool. kev and me think its cool to think about throwin a ninja star right through his forhead.
my dad peter and tracey schelirn were arguing all dinner about my school marks and how heather smokes and prolly does sex with boys and prolly about how dumb derrick is. derrick is defa going to be on a dumb kid bus cuz he is just so dumb. he alredy seems like retard cuz he will just stare at lights or stare at you and then just smile!!!!! he was doing it tonight and then he burpd and threw up all over himself that KID IS AN IDIOT! at least hes better than trever. a cool prank would be to send derrick to my memas house in a little box. i would poke some holes in it with a sword so he could breathe but i would poke em after i put him in the box. HAHAHAHAHAHa J/K . the corn is fuck good!! but i could see it in my poop.

cool pranks

2008-05-28T21:26:00.000-04:00

hey fans, tonight i did a cool prank to my bitch bitch sister heather. i was trying to stay up in my room and watch the hockey game late but she told on me. my dumb dad was dumb and he was mad too. so i had to go to bed. but i turned it back on but heather heard it and told again. then my dad was reall really mad! he took my tv out and put it downstaits. i was so maddddddddd. i was gonna prank heather good then.
i went in my basement and got some rope of a clothes string and some duck tape. then i went upstairs and tied the rope on her door handle. i could hear her talking about gay dick stuff in her room on her moto. i wrapped the door handle and rope in duck tape and then tried to tie it off to my door handle but it wouldnt reach. i needed something to tie it so then i woke up derrick. he was just laying there in his crib like a ass and i took him. then i tied the rope around his waist and duck tape it on real good. i put him right in front of my door and made the rope tite. then i went to the garage again and got some matches and my dads gas can. i came up and poured some gas around her door and then took some steps back. then i did the magic. i pushed play on my ihome and nickelback was soo oloud. heather screamed to turn it down and i said MAKE ME!!!!! then i heard her door open and i threw a match towards her door. when she opend her door quick she pulled derrick right into the gas. the second the match hit it derrick was on fire and crying like a baby. heather was all pissed and came at me. but i was ready. i pulled out a plasma rifle and shoot a hole right in her face. my dad and tracey came running up the steps to see what happened but i was ready too. i blew my whisel and 6 lions ran out of a cage and atacked them. dad died quick but tracey had a assalt rifel and killed them. she was out of bullits and tried to stab me but i had one more grenade left and i threw it down her throat. then i smiled and counted to 3 and she blew up into a million billion chunks. i was a adult now and the lead of the house.
this story is not all real but i had a dream kind of like this some day on a night.

beeker

2008-05-23T15:41:00.000-04:00

one day a kid named beeker dick was born in a tree house with his mom flower boobs and his dad named a dick face. beeker was a cool kid and he never got punched by any kids and he always punched kids in the face accept for girls he just had sex with them in awesome places like his bed and a cool tree fort he built on his planet called ass ass 22. on ass ass 22 peoples just would travel around by pooping and their poop power would move them on hte ground and around the town. beeker was different cuz he didnt have a butt hole and he would just walk around. all the kids made fun of him but then one day he saw a hot babe called bessie and beeker got a hard weener. all the kids were stuned and beeker started going wild. he was boncing around hte town only using his weener like a pogo stick. everyone was clapping and someone even killed a guy just for fun.
everyone was having the best day of ever and beeker was just bouncing around the vilage. he shot off a bench, then a car and then a little kid's head. but the kid was like a baby and had a weak head and beekers dick went right into the kids head. but beeker didnt know that hte kid had a brain made of lava and it melted his dick on to the kids head. he couldnt get the kid off his dick. they then lived like that forever and were good friends. beeker would pee right into his brain and the little kid would just smile like a good kid.
this story is FAKE! and if someone thinks it is real DO NOT tell a parent about it or even a worse principel!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sorry fans

2008-05-23T15:32:00.000-04:00

fans i am sorry. i was not a good writer and i did not come on my blog. it was not my fault my a kid that i am sure u all know. some people dont keep a thing to them self and then people freak out about stuff. i am going to try to make new posts a lot cuz i was thinking about a lot of cool stuff. i think i might make my blog have to make people sign up to read it cuz some peeps are rude and dont know how to be nice to a kid in their same grade. DICKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

the adventurs of harry

2008-04-24T21:03:00.000-04:00

this is a fake story i made up for english. but i added some cool stuff to it to make it good for the site.

harry brodeur was a magic man and he lived in a small house that did not evn have a door. he was so poor and did not have any vidoe games or a wii. and he had no food. this is why he worked on a farm were he grew candy for all the kids. he grew a tree that made skittles and he would ate them.
one day harry met a man named jack black and this guy was nice. jack would always be fun and he even had a cool gun. harry and jack would walk around the farm and shoot at stuff. if a animal would come to the farm and try to eat there starburst bush jack would just shoot it with his gun. sometimes parents would break into the farm and jack would shoot them too. this is what police came for cuz people were missing from the village.
harry and jack would always burie the people in cave. the cave was secret and no one knew about it accept for jack, harry and martin brodeur. one day a cop came to the farm to look for dead peeps but all he found was a gun and jack shot him in the face with it. the cop died and they threw him in a magic canister and fired it into outer space.
after that jack and harry were best freinds and they always did stuff togeher. they would always get babes and then have sex with them and they had like 4 milion kids and they all ate candy and then jack even bought a wii for every one to use but they only had 4 controllers so some kids would just play with the gun. one day a tornado came to the farm and muredreed everyone except for tommy. he was a son that was 1. the next day he played in the stanley cup for the devilss and scored 18 goals and he didnt even cry. THE END.

thanks fan

2008-04-24T21:00:00.000-04:00

Katherine said...

awesome pics on your blog. :)

April 24, 2008 7:28 PM

i give u thanks caus u like my site. kev doesnt want to post teh poop vid caus he is a gay kid but i need the fans to tell him too thank u katreine and come to my website agian and read it.

forest shit rocks with a dumb kid and tracy

2008-04-23T15:08:00.000-04:00

monkey dick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i got posion ivy reall bad and now i am feel like a fagot!
this weekend i went to silioam forest and it was total dick! my unlce chris and my aunt jesie took me with tracy schleirn and they brought their dumb kid olivea who is anoying. olivea is a dumb name and sounds like a food called olivs! some other lady and my uncle mike was there but i dont know who she was. tracy was in total bitchzone and i was so furois!!!! aunt jesies dumb daghter kept throwing sticks and going so slow. i went out to find some cool stuff by a river. i went in the river and threw some rocks and then i saw real tiny frogs and i took some big rocks and smashed them real hardd. aunt jesie got in bitchzone too caus olivea got mud knees. I HATE WHEN PEOPLE THAT HAVE KIDS BRING THEM AROUND ME WHEN I AM TRYING TO DO STUFF THAT IS COOL! ASSSSSSSSSS! if i had big arms i would throw that dumb girl in the river. the worst part is i got the ivy real bad and i am shit. tracy schleirn put lotion on my legs on today and it hurts. kevs dad always puts on bleach and stuff so i put some on and tracy was in bitchzone cuz i got some on derrick and he was crying. he is a idiot was playing under the kitchen table so some got on his ear. dorkzoid! kev u should have came to siloam forest cuz there was so much stuff to be lighted on fire! LOL. heather was all sicked out by my arm but i rubbded it on her pillow!!! she will look like amy greir but with a sick red face bubbles instead of a weird eye that kind of looks at you.

girl list

2008-04-22T15:20:00.000-04:00

last night kev and me made up a cool list of girls from school. so everyone who knows the girls will know but some fans wont here are some babes and some ugly people..

babes
kirsten schell - verry hot and kev likes her too but not to date
jess b - cant give a full name cuz kevvy wevvy likes her. i think she is o k but her eyes are kind of far apart
ami lazen - a+ and kev give her a 89 he said that her eyes are too much like china
madison - hot face but her legs are really skiny and kev said that she is hard to kiss cuz of her wheelchair
kevs neyboor - biggg boobs and we kind a saw them at kevs back yard

ugly people
rebeka yaris - i always hid my lunch from her but she never ate it she is nice though as a talker
vanesa rijose? - her beard is there to see and she always semells like soup or something gay
stephanie tasler - kev said her face is nice but it needs cut off and put on a hot peep
linds g - hahahaha! she ate her sister we think but she said she died in a car accident! LOL
amy greir - BARF!!!!!!!!!

we are going to add some peeps to it soon but this is start. fans - PM me some more.

JAGR DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DICKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

2008-04-21T15:08:00.000-04:00

No.	Player	Pos	Ht	Wt	DOB	Birthplace
16	Avery, Sean I HATE YOU MOST OF EVERY RANGER! GET UR STICK OUT OF MARTIN'S FACE AND DONT BE A DICK AND KEEP TOUCHING SOMEONES DICKS THAT IS A MAN!	LW	5-9	195	4/10/80	Pickering, ON
55	Backman, Christian DUMB NAME GIRL!	D	6-4	198	4/28/80	Alingsas, Sweden
15	Betts, Blair I HATE THAT U ARE IN USA	C	6-3	210	2/16/80	Edmonton, AB
24	Callahan, Ryan A BUS HITS UU	RW	5-11	185	3/21/85	Rochester, NY
10	Dawes, Nigel DUMB NAME	LW	5-8	190	2/9/85	Winnipeg, MB
23	Drury, Chris U ARE THE WORST DICK EVER	C	5-10	200	8/20/76	Trumbull, CT
17	Dubinsky, Brandon BRANDON DUMBINSKY! REATARD FAGOT	C	6-1	210	4/29/86	Anchorage, AK
5	Girardi, Daniel DANIEL SLEEPS IN LION DEN GET EATEN BY A SHARK U DICK	D	6-2	200	4/29/84	Welland, ON
19	Gomez, Scott U WERE A DEVIL BUT I HOPE U ARE DEAD NOW	C	5-11	200	12/23/79	Anchorage, AK
44	Hollweg, Ryan DICK!!!!!!!!!	LW	5-11	210	4/23/83	Downey, CA
68	Jagr, Jaromir I HATE U 2 MOST ON THE TEAM AND U ARE GONING TO GET DICK PUNCHED!	RW	6-3	245	2/15/72	Kladno, Czechoslovakia
30	Lundqvist, Henrik U ARE A GIRL!	G	6-1	195	3/2/82	Are, Sweden
8	Malik, Marek DUMB NAME AND PROLY SHOULD BE DEAD	D	6-6	240	6/24/75	Ostrava, Czechoslovakia
27	Mara, Paul DICK PUNCH!	D	6-4	219	9/7/79	Ridgewood, NJ
28	Orr, Colton GO SLEEP ON A TRAIN TRACK FOR A DAY	RW	6-3	220	3/3/82	Winnipeg, MB
25	Prucha, Petr PUT YOUR HEAD IN FRONT OF A CANON SHOT!	LW	6-0	175	9/14/82	Chrudim, Czechoslovakia
3	Rozsival, Michal ASS MONKEY DICK!	D	6-2	210	9/3/78	Vlasim, Czechoslovakia
14	Shanahan, Brendan U HAVE A OLD DICK!	LW	6-3	215	1/23/69	Mimico, ON
20	Sjostrom, Fredrik KEV IS GONNA MOE UR FACE WITH A LAWN MOER	RW	6-1	217	5/6/83	Fargelanda, Sweden
18	Staal, Marc UR BORTHERS ARE BETTER THAN U!	D	6-4	204	1/13/87	Thunder Bay, ON
82	Straka, Martin COOL NAME BUT DUMB BODY AND U NEED TO GET SHOT TO MARS ON A ROCKEYT!	LW	5-9	180	9/3/72	Plzen, Czechoslovakia
34	Strudwick, Jason FREEZ TO DEATH IN A FREEZER!	D	6-3	225	7/17/75	Edmonton, AB
51	Tyutin, Fedor JUMP OFF THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING DICK MONKEY!	D	6-3	210	7/19/83	Izhevsk, USSR
40	Valiquette, Stephen TRY TO FIGHT A TIGER WITH UR HEAD! U FAGOT!	G	6-6	220	8/20/77	Etobicoke, ON

RANGERS SUCK! AND WILL LOSE THE NEXT GAMES!!!!!!!!!!!

WILLIAM WHITESIDE

2008-04-17T21:50:00.000-04:00

hey fans sorry i didnt update my website this week. tracy said i spented to much time playing games and computer. i went to kevs and played wii anyway. LOL! i hate when she is bitchzone.
i think my first post back should be about a dickhead named william whiteside. i tryed to tell him that his site needed updated and i even told him i liked a cat pic. but he sent me a mean email. here is our emails he is the red letters:

How nice for you

On 4/11/08, Jeffrey Paswick <jeffreypaswick@yahoo.com> wrote:

hey monkey ass, i could rip ur head off with my bare hand and i could throw your dog across the atlantic ocean!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

----- Original Message ---- From: William Whiteside <willinjaxfl@gmail.com> To: Jeffrey Paswick <jeffreypaswick@yahoo.com> Sent: Thursday, April 10, 2008 8:22:25 AM Subject: Re: [A Little Look into William's Life] New comment on Kinda of a Crazy Picture { :.
Hey Jack ass

Piss off

On 4/10/08, Jeffrey Paswick <jeffreypaswick@yahoo.com> wrote:
Jeffrey Paswick has left a new comment on your post "Kinda of a Crazy Picture { :":

hey idiot, updated your blog with some cool cat pics. right now this thing sucks major!

Posted by Jeffrey Paswick to A Little Look into William's Life at April 10, 2008 8:13 AM

--
Best
Regards,
William

__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com

--
Best
Regards,
William

William is real dumb and kev is pretty mad too. here is williams blog profile:

Gender: Male
Astrological Sign: Gemini
Industry: Transportation
Occupation: Account Coordinator
Location: Jacksonville : Florida : United States

About Me

Welcome to my blog, William Whiteside here I currently reside in Jacksonville, FL, but do hope to be moving to San Francisco, CA within the next 6 months or so. This is my first blog so please bare with me as I learn how to make everything look better with time... My good Friend GoJeffrey has a blog on here also so I will be getting a little help from him.:)

Favorite Movies

Favorite Music

this idiot has not updated his blog since deceember 27, 2007!!!!!!! he must be busy rubbingg peoples crootches. his music is dumb and tracey listens to all of that dumb stuff and some my dad. kev and me have barely herd of his favorite movies and only a mule would watch such dumb stuff. go eat horse oats william whiteside.

william whiteside if u read this today or soon send me a email IF YOU ARE A REAL MAN. if u have a wii account PM me for kev's account name and we will beat ur ASS in any game! OR IF U WANT TO FIGHT FOR REAL THEN PM ME AND WE WILL FIGHT BUT KEV IS GOING TO HELP CUZ U ARE OLD AND I AM SMALLER THAN U. BUT I COULD STILL BRING A BASEBALL BAT OR MY DAD'S WEED WHACKER! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHTS! ASSSSSSSSHOLE LOL.

go devils on tm nitght martin!!!!!!!!!!

E-MAIL FROM A SHIT MONEKY

2008-04-11T15:25:00.000-04:00

i told this ass head to update his blog and he sent me this yesterday

Hey Jack ass

Piss off

On 4/10/08, Jeffrey Paswick <jeffreypaswick@yahoo.com> wrote:

Jeffrey Paswick has left a new comment on your post "Kinda of a Crazy Picture { :":

hey idiot, updated your blog with some cool cat pics. right now this thing sucks major!

Posted by Jeffrey Paswick to A Little Look into William's Life at April 10, 2008 8:13 AM

--
Best
Regards,
William

his name is william whiteside and his email is willinjaxfl@gmail.com.
FANS! EMAIL HIM! KEV AND ME ARE MAKING SOME DRAWINGS TO SEND TO HIM! this guy likes to eat a horses shit. he has a blog on blogger.

HELLO BRIAN

2008-04-11T15:14:00.000-04:00

BRIAN IZZO, I GOT UR EMAIL AND I REALY HOPE U DID NOT SEND AN EMAIL TO TRACY CAUS IF U DID I WILL BE MAD AND TRACY WILL BE IN BITCHZODE!!!!!!!! IF THE DEVS LOSE TONIGHT U CAN LOOK AT ME AND KEV LOADING UR DOG INTO A ROCKET LAUNCHER!! IF THE COPS END MY SITE ALOT OF MY FANS WILL BE MAD AND THINGS. U HAVE 2 CHOOSES, U ETHER GIVE SHUT UR FAT WHALE FACE OR U WE WILL KIDNAPP UR BROTHER STEVEN AND WAIT FOR RANSUM MONEY! !! IF TRACY YELLS AT ME TONIGHT ABOUT MY WEBSITE AND GOES TO BITCHZONE I WILL TRY TO SEND ALL MY FANS A THANK U EMAIL. AND I WILL ALSO KIDNAPP STEVENN.
GO DEVILS!!

dear tracy schleirn

2008-04-10T23:20:00.000-04:00

listen i know u are supposed to be my mom but u arent cuz my real mom died at birth. it was probaly caus of my rage. i was in her belly and i probaly got bored and scratchd at her to get out. my real mom would let me play super smash brothers after 11. and she would probaly let me have a beer sometimes after school. if some one ever shows u my blog i hope u read this and cry your face off and then i hope u drowned in ur own tears or sharks come into the room that has tears in it and bit off ur leg or ur arm. i am going to keep my door locked all night and i might not go to scool tm. if i go to scholl i am eating a tub of ice creem for breakfest and i am going to put your dumb cat in the frezr.
MY REAL MOM WOULD PROBALY LET ME EAT CANDY FOR BREAKFEST AND NOT YELL AT ME FOR FIRES THAT I DIDNT EVEN START!!!!!!!!! AND I WOULD PROBALY HAVE A FISH TANK WITH 2 NARHWALS BY NOW!!!!!!!!!!!! I HOPE EVERYTHING U DONT LIKE HAPPENS TO U RIGHT NOW!! !!!!!!!!!! I STILL HERE U BLABBIN DOWNSTARES SO I GUESS MY WISH DIDNT COME TRU!!!!
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK U.

DICKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-04-10T07:58:00.000-04:00

DIE RANGERS!!!! DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!
ME AND KEV ARE IN HOME PERIOD AND MAD ENOUGH TO MURRDER A MIDJET LIKE ERIC KENONF.

WHY IS SCOT GOMEZ ALIVE!?!? SOME PERSON SHOULD BUY A PLASMA RIFLE AND SHOOT HIM IN THE VAGINA!!!!
MARTIN CANT STOP EVERY SHOT BUT HE DIDNT PLAY AWESOME. THIS PIC IS SO COOL THOUGH.
I HOPE SHAWN AVEREY'S PAJAMAS CATCH ON FIRE AND HIS WHOLE FAMILY GETS BURNED.
RANGERS ARE DORKZOIDS AND WILL BE DICK PUNCHED!!!!!!!!!!!! GO MARTIN AND GO DEVILS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

rangers sux!

2008-04-09T15:53:00.000-04:00

to every peep from the rangers blog, suck my dick! !!!!!! LOL!! GO DEVS!!!!
DEVILS ARE GOING TO BEAT YOUR FACE IN TONIGHT.!

watch teh devils tonight at kevs!!!!! martin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! last year me and kev got a beer from dom. dom is kevs dad and he gave it to us on a mets game. we were real drunk and kev said it was the worst he ever was.

and u peeps on the rangers blogs stop sending me emails!!!! I AM A KID and the DEVILS ARE MY TEAM!!!!!!

here is a precidtion for the game: the devils will win it by 5 and martin will have 46 saves. zach parisee will have 4 goals and gointa will take his stick and poke it into jarg's asshole. ahahahahaha, kev made that up. i hope at least one ranger dies during the game, like 1 period or 3 period.
go devils! that monkey will murder you if tell a soul about my blog!! that means you brian izzo!!

60!?!?!?!?!?!?

2008-04-08T15:13:00.000-04:00

i just got home and i had the worst day ever!!!!!!!!!! shit!!!!!!
mrs.henderson doesnt like narwhals! she gave me a 60 % on my narwhal story, cuz she said my story is not fact. she doesnt believe in narwhals either! they are real animals with thoughts and feelings!!! they are from the artic circle which is really far north. she probably has never seen one. i am going to see a narwhal next summer my dad talked about. probaly less than 80% of peeps have seen a narwhal in their lifes. my dad peter said my story is good, but tracy said it was nice, which means that she eats her shit.
and some peeps on the senators blog are trying to fight me, becuse the devils are better. go devs! when i got home i had like 40 im's from people and 2 emails. senators peeps are like attacking me cuz im smart and have a good blog with fans. if i ever see a real senator u can believe he will be bleeding to death on the floor and i will be smiling holding his throat in my hand. cuz i ripped his head off with my bare hand. go devils!

Narwhals

2008-04-07T21:12:00.000-04:00

tonight i wrote a report for my school on narwhals. we had to write a story about our favorite things. so narwhals was #1 and devils is #2. a lot of kids dont believe in them so i decided to write a story. this is probaly the best narwhal story i have ever writting:
once upon a time there was a narwhal named martin brodeur. he wasnt the hockey goalie he was a narwhal who was named after him. martin was friendly with other narwhals and he had a 2 long tusks. this is not usual for narwhals, only 1 in 500 narwhals have double tusks (wikipedia). martin would always swim around in the artic circle with his best friend brian gointa. brian is a narwhal too, but he is not that cool, he has only 1 tusk. but martin is still his friend.
one day martin met a girl narwhal who he liked. her name is jamie langenbruener. they poked holes in ice with their tusks and jamie liked martins 2 tusks a lot. then one day they had a baby narwhal. martin named it zach parise. zach parise was a small narwhal but he could swim really fast. they all would eat cod and dive up to 5000ft (wikipedia).
one day martin, jamie and zach were swimming and they saw some nice eskimos or inuits. zach swam ahead to say hello. that is when it happened! a inuit slammed a poker sword right into zachs eye and sort of through his brian. blood was everywhere and zach soon drowned in his own blood. martin was crying and jamie hugged him. then the devils won the stanley cup.
THE END
here is a picture i found that is probably what zach parise would look like after the sword:

Kid Sit

2008-04-01T21:12:00.000-04:00

tonight my dad and traci are out on a date or sometthing. they are probaly just touching privates (penis/vagina). LOL! but that means i am the man of the house. i have to watch my step little brother derrick and my sick sister heather. she isnt coghing or anything she just always has sex with guys.
my dad said kev could come over and help me watch derrick. me and kev had a blast with derrick. he's like a normal person, but like he is small and cant talk. me and kev played whirlygigs with derrick. if you are a fagot and dont know what whirlygigs is, its a game where u take a little kid or baby (derrick), stand up, hold him by his feet and then flip him. u try to flip him many times as u can. kev got 14. fans, please dont send me comments that this is bad, we played on my bed so derrick only hit the bed. he fell off twice but the one time was when we were playing jumpers. and that is going to happen cuz in that game u put a baby on the side of a bed and then jump on the bed really close to the baby. they get launched cuz they are light.
we used ice pakcs on derrick's head so he doesnt get black and blue. me and kev played cool games, but heather probaly played be a slut. ryan quince came to my house. me and kev put a soap bar in his car pipe by the trunk. our friend george said it works to make a laugh. even if his car explodes, it will still be funny for a ass.

penuings sux!

2008-03-26T02:54:00.000-04:00

last nite my dad peter finally did something dadlike and brought me to a hockye game for the devils. the devils rock. my dads wife tracy schleirn rect our car so we had to take the NJ transit bus. we had to leave 4 hours before the game start and we got there at the start of the 2nd period. we didn't even see a goal. martin brodeur is the best and he is good. he is also my favorite devil. penguins = vaginas.
the devils played the vaginas from pittsburg and the vaginas actually beat us.
no one even cheered for the devils and my dad peter almost got into a fight with a lady. we were playing I SPY during the game because it was soooooo boring, and my dad said he spyed "some great tits". i looked everywhere but they were actually right in front of us and the lady found them first cuz they were her tits. the usher told us to leave, and we started to get up. then we just sat back down when we thought he was gone. but he never left and told us to please leave. so then we did. but my dad peter thought of a cool idea. we didnt miss much of the game cuz we sat in the bathroom toilets and listened to the game. but a fat guy came into the toilet by us and made a big shit that smelled so bad. i wish i knew his name so i could blog it and he would either a. lose his girl b. lose his job or c. lose his life from cancer or like a really bad car accident. the vaginas won 2-0 and we went home on the bus. we got home at 2am after riding the bus thru "blacksville" that my dad called it. cuz there were black people there. my dad said it was the worst night ever and that he would probs have to make it up to tracy schleirn somehow. i fell asleep to the sound of that fat slob getting her vagina sucked by my dad peter. i hate the penguins.

penis ass!

2008-03-14T11:58:00.000-04:00

hey dorkzoids! i am coming live from the library!! LOL
Chris - i am still grounded this weekend and be careful what u send me on IM because my dad saw! ass! i don't even know who you are!

i am not allowed on the net at home, but on next week i am allowed to be. so get ready to get killed!!!!!! me and kev are going to burn more stuff and tape more great vids for our fans! lol

seacrest fuck out!

shit

2008-03-10T22:39:00.000-04:00

i am back. but may be not for long. me and kev got in trouble for the fire. i have to go but here are some pics. if any one knows how to post a video please tell me. here are the pics:

shit fire

2008-03-05T15:11:00.000-05:00

ok people, i like the fan comments, but some of them are freaking weird! i got 2 ims yesterday from people i dont know! and they wouldnt tell there name! if someone does it again they are gonna be murderd by me and kev.
that is a fact and we will kill your dog. and if u dont have a dog we will adopt a dog for you and then we will kill it once u love it!!!!!!!!!!! lol

anyways, today me and kev saw some cool stuff to light on fire. so in an hour we are gonna ride our bikes to manson park and light the out house on fire. kev was laughing so hard thinking about it. it going to smell like shit for a mile. i want to video it and post the video here on my website for you fans to watch. that would be cool. i wish fire was good for people. i also hope to post the vidoe of kev taking a dump.

sorry :(

2008-03-05T07:42:00.000-05:00

sorry for no new post yesterday. i will make one today.

girl that left a comment to me: my name is jeffrey paswick. i read your blog on sunday.

i have school now. bye fans.

here is a cool narwhal pic i found on narwhalwhales.com. its a good site for narwhal information and pics. enjoy!

thanks! :)

2008-03-03T15:34:00.000-05:00

fans i just saw some messages from my fans. here they are:

Greg said...
I feel ya buddy, same thing happened to me. My parents are gross too!
March 3, 2008 10:57 AM

Dan said...
oh man that reminds me of the time i walked in on my parents having a threesome. that was 12 years ago. i'm still going to therapy 4 days a week................
March 3, 2008 1:32 PM

Cory said...
You probably have the best blog on the internet. Keep on raging my man. I'm can't wait to hear some more stories.
March 3, 2008 1:40 PM

zack said...
PAZWICK! u are my main man and i hope one day we can meet up and write a movie. if you wanna be my friend IM me on AIM at MartyMcFly21.
March 3, 2008 3:23 PM

thanks fans. i dont know how u found my website but i hope you like it. :)
greg - thanks isnt it SICK!??!!?!
dan - thanks
cory - thanks i have alot of cool storys and i will write them soon
zach - my name is PASWICK! no Z! thanks for your message but i am a kid.

fagot izzo and fat bill

2008-03-03T15:07:00.000-05:00

fagot izzo and fat bill went to the principl today for the bus fight. bill was crying, but i dont know why cuz he has no dad to yell at him. his dad moved last year. and his mom cant hit hard cuz she is like 100 ponds. i wonder why bill is fat. she is hot and she looks like paris hilton but bills mom has red hair and she is like a mexicen or something. paris is soooooooo hot, kev got a calendar of her for xmas and i look at it when i go to his room. i wish i had a calendar with babes on it. i know a real hot girl. i dont want to make her feel dumb when she reads this, so i am going to name her A.T. she is next door naybors to kev and she has brown hair and is in 8th grade. she is old so her boobs are big. last summer kev told me about when he saw them. he saw her laying in her yard and she took her swimsuit off to let her boobs get darker. kev saw her nippels and they were like teh size of my head. kev said my head, but his head is like the same size. in the night we camped out in his backyard and had binocckculers but we didnt see her. we did see fat bill's mom having sex with zachs dad. bills dad saw too. that is prolly why fat bill is crying today.

KEV EATS FLIPPER'S POOP!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-03-02T16:44:00.000-05:00

hahahahahaahahhaahahaa
kev ate flipper's poop like 1 hr ago. kev lives on meridian and flipper is his neighbor's dog!!!!! he ate it, but not the whole thing so he doesn't get $3.
keep this video secret.

parents.......... :(

2008-03-01T22:17:00.000-05:00

ok so now my parents are real mad abuot brian izzo and they are like going to murdre me. my dad and tracy schleirn gave a talk to me and now i cant see kev for the weeknd. it does not bother me cause we have been playing super smash brothers brawl all day on wii. some dumb kid was bieng yoshii and kev and me told him that his dad is going to die. LOLOL he started to cry like a penis. we really got him good cause his dad actually did die like 2 days ago. hahahaha. dead.
so tonight i went into my dad's room to ask if i can go to kev's tomorow and it was SICK!!!!!! fat tracy schlerin was laying on my dad's bed and my dad had his face in her vagina!!! he was like eating it!!!! tracy looked like a fat hefer and she was eating a peice of pumpkin pie. i ran to my room and lockd it and then they were pounding on it to come in. i just told them to go to hell and then turned good charlote up to 40 on my ipod. this is a pic of the sick fat tracy

brian izzo i hope you die

2008-02-29T19:35:00.000-05:00

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh SHIT!, i hate this mother funker! brian izzo! he rides my bus and he thinks he is cool because hes the oldest kid ever. most kids know stuff about transformers and some shows on cartoon network but this kid is so dumb. he is like 40 and has a beard. i hope he dies of old age this year.
me and kev were just riding the bus to our track and brian comes up to our seat and starts saying he heard that we like to video tape each other shitting! he said shit so loud and tina didnt even hear it. tina is the bus lady. she looks like this guy. so i tell brian the truth that it is for my website and he starts making comments about my shoes. i just got them last week and they are skechers. kev has the same ones but in navy. WHO MAKES FUN OF SOMEONE'S SHOES!?!?
luckily our stop was coming and we got up to leave and just then brian slammed his fist on my shoulder. bill harold who is our friend, but fat saw it and charged towards the bus aisle and hit into brian. and then tina was yelling and kev and me ran for the door, but brian stepped on the back of my skecher and i fell face first into the aisle. i was like kind of crying but i just got up. tina stopped the bus and was yelling at us. fat bill didnt even get in trouble because his dad cheated on his mom last year so he lives with his mom and she works so she wasnt home to yell.
i seriously hope that brian izzo gets hit by a train or maybe like some bears eat him. that would be a great thrill. i am sick of that kid. plus my skechers are like all scuffed up and the back is kind of dirty. here is a picture.

2 girls 1 cup

2008-02-28T20:07:00.000-05:00

omg, i saw the movie. it was soooooooooooooooooooooooo sick. i was like gonna throw up and kev was laughing so hard. at the start of it i was just looking at the boobs, and i think kev was too, but then the one lady was taking a dump! it was sickkkkkkkkkkk. but the boobs were sort of cool.
we watched it on my computer in my room, and my dad was yelling upstairs cuz we were laughing so hard. we turned it off before he came in and just my tv was on and it was the show lost. my dad likes lost and then he sat on my bed and watched the whole show. kev was looking pretty mad, and my dad was asking me why we laugh at lost. WHAT DO U THINK U PENIS!? WE WERE LAUGHING AT GIRLS EATING POOP! LOL. i didnt say that. i said we were laughing at a commerical. he asked me what comercial and i said i dont remember. i think he though something was up. when lost ended he left and kev and i finihsed watching the girls and their cup.
then i got the idea to kind of make our own one and video tape it. kev was kind of grossed by it, but i told him no one would know. HAHA. i took my dads sony camera and kev went into the bathroom. we taped him taking a dump and he was so embarrsed he put a pillow on his face to cover it. i was laughing so hard and then heather knocked on the bathroom door and was like "WHEN YOU FAGOTS ARE DONE KISSING I WANT TO WASH MY HAIR!". i hid the camera and we both walked out. i called her a slut, but she didnt cry. the picture is actually a screen shot of kev's poop.

school

2008-02-28T12:29:00.000-05:00

basic computers!!!!! live from shrewsbury elementary its me!!!!!! i'm in my basic computers class right now with dustin evans and jason r. jason is showimg me some cool sites to link onto my blog. here is a funny site that has funny videos and shit. here is a site that has cool games. and here is a site that has funny pictures. LOL LOL the one on the bottom right looks like jessie yessir! haha. if u dont know who she is go to wikipedia and type in ugly. haha ROFL!!
if you want some more laughs check out this picture of henry g's dad. hes like mexicann or something dumb. sometimes we go to taco bell and it tastes like shit!!!
mr. kortis is our teacher and he is ok, except he's ugly and probably never saw boobs. dustin tried to get a picture of him with a web cam, but like a faggit he blocked it. mr. kortis said he knows heather, probably cause he had sex with her!LOL kortis has a poop beard, we call him "kortis the tortis" cause it looks like a bunch of turtle heads poking out of his face! lol ROFL.
i hope tracy is not bitchzone tonight, cause kev is going to show me 2 girls 1 cup! haha. don't worry you assass, i heard about it!! i will update tonight about the video cause it is blocked at school by some dorkzoids!!! plus today we are having a FUCK CONTEST at lunch!! WHOOP! kevin thought of it.
we say FUCK louder and louder and if someone quits then everyone knows that they suck a dick. if you get caught by a teacher you are still sort of cool too. :) seacrest fucking out!

Mr. Boobs

2008-02-27T19:25:00.000-05:00

hey dorkzoids!!! this is our snowman!! mr.boobs. i named him. LOL he is actually a man, but i still thought to name him mr.boobs. kevin liked it but nathan did not. derrick said nothing. he actualy doesnt have boobs he just has a cool head with a hole for a mouth. kevin said he probably eats shit with it. nathan never thinks anything is funny not even mr.boobs or when we made a cool jump for derrick to go off in his bag. the plastic bag i had him in went super fast in the snow and tomorrow after school i am going to try one out myself.
my stepmom tracy schrelin was real ticked at me cause kevin and i had derrick out in the snow. she is a slut. probably. she would be reallllly mad if she knew that me and kev threw some snowballs at him for target practice. so now im grounded for the night and kev was supposed to come over. tracy is sooooooo stupid, i am playing online wii with him anyway!!!
nathan donilo was being a little cry cry dress girl and crying cuz i hit him in the mouth with a ice ball. LOLOL i put a stone from his driveway in it and threw it so hard at his face. ahahahaha kevin was laughing. derrick was crying, but it was probaly cause i accidently left him face down in the snow. i wish a fire would happen at my house while i was at school and tracy is home. maybe derrick too....no, just tracy. and heather.

SNOW DAYS!!!!!

2008-02-27T10:58:00.000-05:00

today is the best day ever because school is closed for snow!, but its the worst day ever because heather is here and so is derrick. I have been watching derrick like all day while my sister is like whacking off upstairs and doing her hair. she probably looks like a skank! LOL.
tggb
HAHA, i just tried to let derrick type something for my blog. he's only 1 year old. i set him on my lap, but he just fell face first into the keyboard. he isnt smart. plus he really isnt my brother, he is my stepbrother.
my sister is going to be in trouble again. my stepmom tracy left for work at target and put a pizza in the oven for us. heather should have took it out, but she was too busy being slutty. and the pizza was like totally burned, she ate like one piece and i tried to give my piece to derrick but he doesnt have any teeth really so its hard to bite.
my best friend kevin is coming over soon, and we're going to go sledding at nathan donilos house. heather is going to be home alone if any perverts want to come and attack her! haha. LMAO.
i gotta go cuz i gotta put derricks coat and boots on him and put him in a plastic bag so he is easier to carry over to nathan's house. seacrest out!

HEATHER!!!!!!!!!!

2008-02-26T20:16:00.000-05:00

heather is my sister and is 17. she lives in our duplex . she works at panera bread as a waitress and makes all kinds of crap for people. this is a picture of her. she is the dumb one on the right. usually she looks waayyyyyyyyy more slutty. my stepmom tracy calls her a little whore princess sometimes. my dad doesnt call her that. i call her rude, cause one time i woke up and another boy was in her bed. it was last year during my christmas recess and like everyone was asleep. but everyone woke up when i started yelling for my dad. i was screaming like i had a nightmare and my dad peter ran into the room. that is when he looked at heather and she was trying to find her underwear. LOL! OMG! the boy was eric tessler and he lives right near my best friend kevin. flipper is eric tessler's dog, we almost shot him. eric tessler is 24 years old too, so my dad was really mad. it was a really weird night because i saw boobs, but they werent good boobs and i saw my dad kill someone. my older brother alex and my dad buried him in the infield of manson park. that is right near my house, and this summer jason reger broke his shin when he stole 2nd base and slide right into eric tessler's shoulder. it smelled so bad and our game got delayed. JETER RULZ!!!

KEVIN!!!!!!!

2008-02-25T19:51:00.000-05:00

hey peeps! my first story is going to be about my best friend ever. his name is kevin mcavoy. he is in my grade and is my friend. he lives on meridian way and that is right outside my track. we always do great stuff and have a good time.
the best story of all time was when this summer we were at his house. we played halo for like a million hours and then we were bored so we went to his basement. his dad has a lot of guns in a case, prolly cause he is really fat and cant run away from crooks. kevin showed me a really big gun and i told him we should shoot it. he said NO WAY! U IDIOT! MY DAD SAYS YOU CANT! i thought he would just be scared of making his mom mad if he broke something in the house.
so we took the gun outside and went onto his deck. kevin has a really nice deck with lots of cool statues and stuff. one of them i never told my dad about cause it has a girl with her boobs showing. LOL! it really does! i searched on-line when my dad was still at work and tracy schleirn was at kohl's. this is the picture i found, kevin's dads boob statue is kind of like that but not as freaky looking. me and kevin both held the gun and pretended we were vin diesel. i told him that we should shoot something to see how awesome it could be. kevin thought it would be ok cause his dad always keeps the guns without bullets. right then i saw the nieghbors dog named flipper. he was just like pooping LOL or something and i thought it would surprise him if i shot him. so i like aimed at him and shot it. i totally missed, but i scared him. it was SOOOO LOUD! he was running like a little baby. me and kev went running into his den and looked out the window. a couple of minutes later we started to hear some sirens and cops. I SHOT A LADY! nobody knew it was us and some other freaks got in trouble. here is a pic.
kev was laughin so hard that he farted really loud, and then we played some grand theft auto with our friend bill. kevin's mom made us some totinos pizza rolls and we ate some, but bill ate most of them, cause he weights like 500lbs!!! LOL i wish we would have accidently shot bill instead of that lady. or maybe just shot flipper.
i have more stories i wanna write but i will write them later. i am gonna talk about when kevin and me smashed frogs with rocks.

helllo world!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-02-24T10:40:00.000-05:00

hey people!!!! my name is jeffrey paswick lol i'm 11 years old and live in shrewsbury, new jersey. my address is 21 adams way shrewsbury, nj. i live in a duplex with my dad peter and my stepmom tracy schleirn. tracy schleirn is a lady my dad married after my real mom died while she gave birth to me. her name was lisa. i always thought i killed her cuz i have a big head but my dad said that jesus killed her. there are 3 other kids in my family. my brother alex is 23 and he lives in matawan new jersy. my sister is named heather and she is 17 she lives at home. there is also another boy in my family. his name is derrick and my dad didnt help to make him. he is tracy schleirn's kid and he is only 1 year old. here is a picture of hiM look how stupid his head looks!! lol. hahahahaha
we have a iguana at my house too his name is martin. he is named that because of the hockey goalie. here is a picture of him. pap pap is holding him, last summer my pap pap went to heaven, because he got strucked by lightning at my baseball game at manson park. it was the worst day of my whole life we won the game, but we did not go for ice cream because my pap pap was not alive.
thats everything about me! :) here is a cool picture of a narwhal its my favorite animal in the whole world :) my next favorite is a deer, here is a picture that my dad peter took.